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literary-motif · 9 months ago

Note

We need an nsfw of Isaac and listener after an argument 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Sorry this took me so long...

You're a Villain (NSFW)

Isaac Rhoades x Reader

Warnings: possessiveness, brief talk of death

“You can’t just disappear on me!” Isaac’s near scream made you jump.

The front door closed forcefully as it slid out of your hands. You were startled, looking at his stormy expression with wide eyes for a moment before reality caught up with you, making you frown.

“What were you thinking?” he hissed, “I was looking everywhere for you. Couldn’t you have told me you were going out? Where were you? How dare you!”

You were about to explain the last-minute supply run to grab some apples — you planned to bake an apple cake since you found an interesting recipe in the library you wanted to try out — but Isaac’s words made you pause.

“What do you mean ‘how dare I?’” you asked, annoyed at being treated like a prisoner, your every step monitored. Isaac was your partner, not some guardian charged to watch over you like a hawk. “I was out, Isaac. Calm down.”

Isaac threw up his hands, laughing humorlessly. “Oh, calm down, should I?” he taunted as you brushed him aside to walk to the kitchen, placing the apples on the counter. “Calm down, sure. I’m just going to stay calm when the love of my life suddenly disappears. I’m going to be so fucking calm when I cradle your dead body on the doorstep because the wrong people got their hands on you. So fucking calm, Pickle!”

“Tone it down a bit, yeah?” you huffed, closing the recipe book harshly. You did not feel like baking anymore. “Don’t be so dramatic, Isaac. For god’s sake, we talked about this! You need to finally—!”

The words died on your tongue as you turned to face him properly for the first time. Isaac was shaking. His hands were balled into fists, trembling violently at his sides as he fruitlessly tried to blink the tears from his vision.

“Isaac?” you asked, tone soft as guilt welled inside you and nestled in your chest. You two had talked about this very issue, and he had promised to give you your freedom, overcoming his terror of seeing you outside the house — in an environment he did not entirely control. He had promised he would try.

How could you have expected him to push aside his trauma in a mere few months?

“What? Not calm enough for you?” Isaac spat, hands holding the kitchen counter with a white-knuckled grip — his head tilted, eyes averted as he did not dare to look at you.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“No, you fucking shouldn’t have,” he interrupted you, taking a few gasping breaths. You placed your hands over his in a gesture you hoped was comforting. Isaac exhaled deeply, shaking off your touch and releasing the counter as his hands wrapped around you instead, pulling you into a crushing embrace.

“It’s alright,” you said, running your hands over his back, steering him slowly towards the sofa in the living room. “I’m right here, alright. I’m fine. Nothing happened.”

Isaac shuddered, clutching you tighter. “Then why do I see your blood staining my hands when I close my eyes? Your lifeless face—”

“I’m right here,” you murmured, pressing your palm against his cheek and leaning closer to his face until your lips met in a slow kiss. “Alive and well, Isaac. I’m here with you.”

“You’re here,” he repeated, sitting on the couch and pulling you down to make you straddle his lap as his arms refused to loosen around you.

Your surprised chuckle was muffled by Isaac’s lips on yours. He was kissing you with an unusual sense of desperation and longing that felt like he was a lost wanderer in the desert and had finally found some water.

“And you’re mine,” he whispered, treading his fingers through your hair and pulling gently, causing you to tilt your head back and expose your neck to him. “Nobody else’s. Nobody gets to touch you.”

A breathy moan escaped you at his possessive words, followed by a groan as Isaac latched onto your neck and began sucking, marking you as his.

The way his mouth moved on your sensitive skin made your head spin, and you clutched his upper arm to keep yourself grounded as your other hand trailed down the front of his shirt. Desire was building inside you, sharpened by Isaac’s shudder under your touch.

“I’m yours.” You hooked a finger under his chin to make him look up at you, leaning forward until you could whisper directly in his ear, knowing it would turn his cheeks red and cause a sizzling warmth to settle in his chest, “Would you like me to prove that to you?”

“No need,” Isaac breathed, his arms encircling your chest, holding you securely as he moved.

You gave a startled yelp as he lifted you off his lap and laid you down on your back against the soft cushions of the couch. He now towered over you, looking at your face with dark eyes as his knees rested on either side of your hips, trapping you beneath him.

“I’m the only one who gets to see you like this,” he purred, leaning down until you were chest to chest, his warm breath tickling your face before he kissed you again. His hands moved up your legs, caressing the inside of your thighs for you to spread them for him. “I’m the only one who gets to touch you,” he mumbled, sighing as you raked your hands through his hair and pulled him closer against you, bucking your hips in chase for friction.

“You’re such a tease,” you whineed, tugging on Isaac’s hair to get him to move off of your neck. He followed your movement reluctantly, one of his hands brushing over your chest until it came to rest on the hem of your shirt, and he pressed slow circles against your stomach, moving his hand lower and lower until he brushed against your belt.

Isaac smirked at the whine you let out, desperate for his touch. “Somehow I have to remind myself that you are here with me again, do I not?” he asked, hiking up your shirt and pressing his lips against your exposed skin, nibbling as he unbuckled your belt.

Despite the teasing evident in his tone, his words stabbed through your heart like a sword, stifling your sigh. “I’m sorry,” you repeated, cupping his cheek and urging him to look up at you, “Isaac, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to—”

His eyes lifted just as he peeled your pants down languidly, earning an impatient groan from you. The stare boring into you was intense, full of heat and burning desire, but you noticed a faint hue of desperation and fear in his gaze.

“Do you want this?” Isaac asked huskily, pulling your pants down fully and resting the palms of his hands on your hips, tantalizingly brushing over the place you needed him most and fingering the fabric of your undergarment.

You could not help but buck into his touch, whimpering quietly. “Please,” you gasped, the desire pooling between your legs aching. “I want you, Isaac, please.”

“I love it when you beg for me,” he growled, exposing you to his eyes alone. “Shit, you’re so beautiful. I can’t wait to be inside you, pumping my cock in and out of you until you clench around me, Beautiful. I can’t wait to watch you come undone as I split you on my cock.”

“Fuck, Isaac,” you whined, a lewed moan tearing from you as you saw him free his achingly hard cock. “I need you to fuck me so good, please.”

“Relax,” he purred, leaning over your chest again to kiss you senseless. “I’ll make you feel every inch of me stretching you out, don’t worry. Just relax for me. You’re always so tight.”

Your gasps and moans echoed loudly through the living room as Isaac fucked you with his fingers, dragging them in and out of you torturously slow to prepare you for his throbbing cock, already leaking with pre cum at the sight of you spread out before him.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he said as his gaze flickered from where his fingers disappeared inside you to the pleasure he saw candidly on your contorted face.

You tried to meet his slow thrusts, rolling your hips to push his fingers deeper but Isaac’s hand on your waist tightened, pushing you down against the cushion and keeping you from moving.

“Someone’s eager,” he chuckled, false nonchalance dripping from his lips as he could hardly keep himself from slipping his cock inside you, railing you until there were nothing but whimpers and please escaping you, that beautiful head of yours so clouded with pleasure that you were too fucked out to even moan properly anymore.

“Please, Isaac,” you pleaded, the torturously slow pace of his fingers nearly making you sob in frustration, “I’m yours, I’m— please, I’m sorry. I need you so bad. Please, fuck, please!”

The grip on his composure shattered, and Isaac pulled out his fingers, tearing a whine from you before he slammed his cock inside of you, his groan mixing with your gasp.

“How is this?” he asked after a moment of catching his breath, not moving as he felt your walls flutter around him, slowly adjusting to his cock. “Does this feel good? You’re so tight, I love it. Is this alright?” You only gasped quietly in pleasure. Isaac took your hands in his, intertwining your fingers as he squeezed reassuringly, “Beautiful?”

You hummed, nodding as you tried grinding your hips against him, wanting him to move.

“No, I need you to use your words,” he said, expressing patience in measures you never knew he had. “How do you feel? Is this alright?”

“Fuck,” you breathed, arching your back, “‘s good. Move inside me, please— feel so good.”

Isaac began rolling his hips against you, pumping his cock in and out of you slowly for only a moment before increasing his pace, fucking you into the cushions of the sofa until you could feel the wood of the frame against your back.

“You’re so good,” he panted above you, holding your legs open as he continued to ram his cock inside you, “taking me so well— taking my cock so well, Beautiful. You’re amazing. All mine, fuck.”

The pleasure building inside you was about to reach its height, and you could tell Isaac was close, too. His merciless rhythm began to stutter, his pants growing more breathless as he filled you again and again. “‘M close,” you gasped, “‘m gonna—”

“Come for me,” he purred, thrusting into you even harder to push his cock deeper. “I want to feel you clench around me, Beautiful— need you to take everything I give you. Can you do that for me?”

“Shit, yes,” you moaned, his thrusts edging you closer to your release before his words pushed made you come undone, shuddering as you came. Isaac groaned, following close behind as you squeezed his cock dry.

Spent, he slumped against the back of the sofa to catch his breath. “You alright, Pickle?” he asked after a moment, brushing strands of hair out of your face. “Do you need anything?”

“Fine,” you answered hoarsely, letting your eyes slip shut for a minute. You were exhausted, ready to take a bath and cuddle up with Isaac until you drifted off to sleep.

Isaac shifted, resting one of his hands above your heart to feel your rapid heartbeat. “Never do that again, alright?” he pleaded, vulnerable as you opened your eyes to look into his shining ones. “I don’t— I’m not ready. I can’t—”

“Alright, I promise,” you whispered, sitting up to place a tender kiss against his cheek. “I’ll tell you where I’m going, and when. I don’t want you to worry.”

“Thank you,” he breathed in relief, a crushing pressure falling from his chest, “I love you.”

#sakuverse #isaac rhoades x reader #minors dni #isaac rhoades

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stars-and-inkpots · 1 year ago

Note

hi! if it interests you, I think it'd be funny to see Tav feeling like they're babysitting a bunch of squabbling (overly attractive) children 🤔 🤣 especially towards the beginning when NOBODY got along

much love! your fics are amazing and just hit all the spots! 💖

this was such a silly idea i loved it so much. it took me a while to get a clear idea of how i wanted to write it, but i finally took some time today to get it done ! it's a little short, but it's a fun little scenario of just reader and companions. i hope you enjoy and thank you for the idea!

Getting Along | Reader and Companions (Gale, Astarion, Wyll, Shadowheart, Lae'zel)

Trying to travel with your newfound companions is getting increasingly difficult. None of them seem to get along (except Wyll, of course), and are more than eager to start arguments rather than solving more pressing issues. Even your patience has it's limits.

Pairing: no romantic pairing

Word Count: 770

To say that your life had changed since the nautiloid would be a massive understatement. Your life was upheaved, completely changed, and you were thrown into an entire adventure completely against your will. At least, you thought to yourself, you had company.

Though, that ‘company’ was quickly beginning to become more of a problem to solve in its own way.

One would think that the tadpoles in your minds would bring all of you together. One would think that it would give at least some reason to ensure that everyone was tolerable of each other. This was clearly not the case.

You’ve lost track of how many times you’ve had to tell Astarion to stop bothering Gale while all of you walk through the forest path. Astarion starts it every time, but Gale is stubborn and is easily lured into a new argument only minutes after the last had ended.

“Gale, just stop answering him,” you say, exasperated after the fifth spat between the two of them in the span of twenty minutes.

“He knows he’s wrong though! He just won’t admit it!”

Astarion is only barely concealing his laughter behind you.

“Yes. Because he knows it upsets you. Just ignore him.” You bring a hand up to your face, pinching the bridge of your nose as you feel the stress of the day already getting to you. It’s barely noon.

Gale gives an annoyed groan, but mercifully listens to you. You can see the effort it takes, however, when Astarion continues to try and goad Gale into another rant.

---

In the afternoon, Gale has managed to ignore Astarion for a good majority of the time. Instead, it is now Lae’zel and Shadowheart who have been at each other’s throats (thankfully, only figuratively so far) almost constantly. Astarion, now bored with Gale’s determined disinterest, is happy to antagonize both of them, encouraging the divide between the two.

“I just think maybe Shadowheart deserves to keep the relic, since she was able to take it so easily.” Astarion knows it’s more complicated than that. He also knows that saying this will infuriate Lae’zel.

“Finally, you speak some sense,” Shadowheart says, not even sparing either Astarion or Lae’zel a glance.

“Do not start,” you warn.

Wyll, the only other one who seems to see reason in working together, steps between Lae’zel and Shadowheart. He only looks a little nervous as he does, knowing full well that the githyanki could easily push him to the side.

“The half-elf can fight her own battles as she seeks them. I do not suggest getting in my way, unless you wish me to go through you.” Lae’zel’s hand is holding the hilt of her sword so tightly that you are impressed she hasn’t snapped it entirely. Wyll keeps his gaze on the path ahead, giving no indication that he’s heard her at all except for a momentary, nervous glance at you.

“Enough! There will be no more fighting! You will all behave until we get through the day. And then you will continue to behave when we are back at camp. Am I understood?” You feel like an exhausted parent, scolding children. The only thing missing is a corner for timeouts.

“I was behaving. Quite well, in fact,” Shadowheart says, with the nerve to cross her arms petulantly. Lae’zel only grumbles, but her hand leaves her sword.

“Everyone is going to be quiet now. Not a word, unless necessary, until we camp for the night.” You remember hearing a parent encourage their children to play something called ‘the silent game’ once, and it feels very similar to what you’re requesting of your companions now.

They listen. For the rest of the night, there is blessed silence. Even through dinner that night, no one says a word.

Before everyone retires for the night, you speak up to all of them.

“Tomorrow, everyone is going to get along. We are in this together. We need to work together. Astarion, stop trying to start fights. Gale, stop answering Astarion. Lae’zel and Shadowheart, leave each other alone. Wyll… keep it up, you��ve been great. Now everyone, get a good rest and when we travel tomorrow, you will all be in a good mood. Okay?”

There are a few indignant huffs, but everyone mumbles their reluctant agreement.

The night is peaceful, and that peace continues on to the next day. Maybe because you finally managed to get through to them, or maybe because they didn’t want to have to endure yet another lecture. Whatever the reason, you’re happy to have at least one day where you don’t feel like a babysitter.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #x reader fic #reader insert #bg3 fic #bg3 fanfiction #gale dekarios #lae'zel #shadowheart #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate x reader

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ilikereadingthisiswhatilike · 1 year ago

Text

Ellie Williams

Mood Board @berrymuttbb

(X) = Smut

Missing Spring @yohibmbi Summary: Ellie’s on a mission & you miss her so very dearly. Warnings: Toxic Ex Special Tag: Dirty

Glue @whore-era Summary: In which jackson's sweetest girl crushes on the town's grumpy asshole. Warnings: None Special Tag: None

Summary: she only needs you when she's strung off drugs & alcohol. Warnings: Angst, Drug Use Special Tag: None

When I was your girl. @hunnylagoon Summary: You and fell in love as nobodies and fell out of love in the limelight. Now you are forced to deal with ghosts who haunt you like a melody. Warnings: Angst, Brake up Special Tag: Singer AU

BEYOND SALVAGE @angelsforthenight Summary: you’re somebody that’s virtuous, staying in an all girls catholic boarding school. fallen victim to the vast fear of god, you try your hardest not to sin. however what happens when an embarrassing incident catches a certain rogue girl’s attention — who absolutely reeks of sin? Warnings: Religion Special Tag: School AU

pretty baby, feel me @lordcowgirl (X) Summary: It's a hot summer day and Ellie makes a quick stop at the loneliest of gas stations. When you think you'll melt under the heat, Ellie proves herself as a different alternative. Warnings: None Special Tag: Dirty

YOU GET ME SO HIGH @kannism (X) Summary: Ellie takes you shoping Warnings: None Special Tag: Dirty

Look like an angel (X) Summary: Ellie williams, the college’s most popular dealer takes an interest in you, the most angelic sweet shy girl she had ever landed eyes on. and when the opportunity arises, she makes a move. she wants you to be hers. Warnings: None Special Tag: Dirty

Where We Meet @s-4pphics (X) Summary: Monsters form your past come back. Warnings: Angst, Death, Visions, Animal Death Specials Tags: Demon AU, Dark

Tag! you’re it @bambiesfics (X) Summary: You…need…to…run. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Predator, Pray, Dirty

Fucking Milfs @bambiesfics (X) Summary: Ellie likes Milfs and your the biggest milf in town. Warnings: Age Gap Specials Tags: Muilt Chapter

GOD, FORGIVE ME @baptismbaby (X) Summary: Ellie likes to be mean to you. Warnings: Bullying, Pier Presser, Religion Specials Tags: Muilt Chapter

One of your girls @lovelettersfromluna (X) Summary: When Ellie’s usual filming partner tells her she’s gotten into a relationship, she ends up needing to find a new one, who better than her sweet little roommate? Warnings: None Specials Tags: Cam girl au

K.O. @callmelola111 (X) Summary: As hours, minutes, and seconds count down till the new year, secrets are revealed and trust is broken. who knew the downfall of your life could be so freeing—and that a total stranger would be the one to catch you. Warnings: Toxic Relationship Specials Tags: None

Ghostly Night @lonelyfooryouonly (X) Summary: Going on a Halloween party and meeting someone with a Ghostface mask couldn't go that wrong, could it now? Warnings: Muder Specials Tags: Muilty chapter. Ft. Dina

Dina and Ellie @coeurify (X) Summary: Dina and Ellie enjoy their time with you. Warnings: None Specials Tags: None

Study Method @elsdolly (X) Summary: You were the perfect housewife Warnings: None Specials Tags: Study sex

Watercolor Eyes @enbesbians (X) Summary: Life felt glum. you didn’t have the confidence in yourself, you wanted to be cool, you wanted to feel desired. you met a girl named Ellie. Warnings: Sad Ending, Angst Specials Tags: None

Satisfied @elliespassagerprincess (X) Summary: You’re needy and relentless, but Ellie needs to study. luckily your smart girlfriend thinks of a perfect way to fix both of your issues with her tongue. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Toxic Relationships, Murder

Christmas shopping @fadedin2u (X) Summary: You go charismas shopping with Ellie and things get heated in the Victoria secret dressing room. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Public Sex

Her Slut @tan1shere (X) Summary: You're eating her out, enjoying every bit of it, it's rough. Maybe you had been bratty towards her. She wouldn't of liked that. Warnings: None Specials Tags: None

Tamer @gold-dustwomxn (X) Summary: Ellie reminds you of your place. Warnings: degradation Specials Tags: BDSM

In my room @nyctophiliq (X) Summary: Didn’t your parents tell you to never leave the doors or windows open? Warnings: Rape, Braking and Entering Special Tag: Dark

Your sister knows best @nyctophiliq (X) Summary: You get a new boyfriend, but Ellie just can’t take the idea of you with someone else. Warnings: Dub-Con, Incest Special Tag: Dark

Dumb (X) Summary: Drug dealer Ellie likes when you play dumb. Warnings: Drug Use Special Tag: None

INVISIBLE STRING THEORY @total-dxmure (X) Summary: After losing your girlfriend due to an accident you feel as though you’ll never find love again- but that was before meeting Ellie Williams Warnings: PTSD, Panic Attacks, Mention of Death. Special Tag: Veteran Au, Muitl-Chapter

Look What You Started. @r3starttt (X) Summary: Ellie is scarily overreactive of you. Warnings: Murder, Bullying Special Tag: College Au, Muitl-Chapter, Dark

single hot lesbians in your area looking to fuck! @destructive-path (X) Summary: You have a online hook up with Ellie Warnings: None Special Tag: Dirty

Birthday Girl @hunnylagoon Summary: Jackson’s resident Baker works herself tirelessly to take care of everyone on their birthday and ensure they get something nice to brighten their special day but who is there to take care of her? Warnings: None Special Tag: Angst

Baby Fever @circe-is-struggling (X) Summary: After seeing the cutest video of a sleepy toddler while on that part of your cycle. Warnings: None Special Tag: Breeding Kink

𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 @leiswxrld (X) Summary: it’s Valentine’s Day, a special day to spend with your loved ones right but what if a slasher is going around killing only once a year on this special day. Warnings: Non con, Drugs, Murder Special Tag: Dark, Dirty

Candy @pascals-doll (X) Summary: You and Ellie have a good Valentines Day Warnings: None Special Tag: Sweet

Tis The Damn Season @whenlostinthedarkness Summary: You swore you'd never end up in Jackson again unless it was a life or death situation, but when that very thing happens, you find yourself back in the place you used to call home before it was tainted by her Warnings: Angst Special Tag: Mutli Chapter

SOMETHING UNEXPECTED @sorrowsblogworld (X) Summary: Life seemed average, a repeated cycle you could never seem to get out of. Bland, overused and average. Warnings: Angst Special Tag: Ft. Dina

Once More Into The Breach @destructive-path Summary: you take a risk and put your life in hands that always seem to find their way around your neck. Warnings: Blood, Injury Special Tag: Dark

Nerd @elslvrsworld (X) Summary: Ellie caught the attention of the head cheerleader, who’s always successful in her endeavors. Warnings: None Special Tag: None

The thought of you @sapphhicslut (X) Summary: she finally spoke to you, after the long awaited 2 weeks of ‘knowing’ you she finally spoke words to you. You just looks to pretty, so she had to make sure you got home safe. So no one could kidnap you or anything, for your own safety. And maybe something else… Warnings: Stalking, Voyeurism Special Tag: Mutil Part, Modern AU

The Girl Time Forgot @hunnylagoon Summary: Ellie is the only time traveller who uses her uncommon gift to rewind time and constantly pester you-the only immortal who made a deal with death in 412 BC and is cursed to walk the earth for all eternity. Forever was promised but you never knew the price Warnings: Death, Murder, Mentions of Suicide, Self-harm, Toxic Relationship, Sickness, Violence, Angst, War, Mentions of Drugs Special Tag: Time Travel AU

lessons in lust @dykeishh (X) Summary: Ellie meets with her hot tutor for calculus and somehow ends with an anatomy lesson! Warnings: None Special Tag: Public Sex

and then what happened? @flowrmoth (X) Summary: Your date last night with another girl got real juicy and ellie couldn't help but ask about it... Warnings: None Special Tag: Mulity Chapter

VIOLETS @tookthe-405 (X) Summary: It's the 1970s, your father is the owner of the local bank and you basically have everything you want. But there is one thing you want, need, but can't have. Ellie, daughter of neighbor farmer Joel Miller, brings you fresh eggs, milk and violets(?) every morning. Warnings: None Special Tag: Farmer Au

I could eat that girl for lunch @closetedlesbean (X) Summary: You were gonna go out with your friend but Ellie was just a little too needy. At least you still went out! With your legs shaky. Warnings: None Special Tag: None

This is my playpen @enchantedlov3r (X) Summary: You and ellie are play fighting but it turns into something different, more intimate... Warnings: None Special Tag: Pet Play

𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 @venuzasmuse (X) Summary: The holidays are meant to be festive, free of heartache and solemnity, but odds are forever not in your favor as you spend the holidays with your best friend alongside her sister, that broke your heart. Warnings: None Special Tag: Rock Star Au, Muilty Chapter.

Inked @skywalkerslvt (X) Summary: Ellie gets a stomach tattoo and then fucks you in a public washroom Warnings: None Special Tag: None

Call me when you’re high @xqueen-of-disasterx (X) Summary: When college is stressful again, why not share a blunt with your girl. Warnings: Drug Special Tag: College AU

Hunt @girlrotterr Summary: You were tasked with tracking a female trespasser who has been causing havoc on the WLF, killing numerous soldiers and stealing supplies. It was supposed to be a straightforward surveillance job. You weren't supposed to get caught... Warnings: Cannon Violence Special Tag: None

Dumb Bunny @bambiwrites (X) Summary: Your were to stupid to realize ellie was mean. Warnings: Bullying Special Tag: None

Teachers pet @zebuie (X) Summary: college student develops a small crush on her philosophy teacher—but is it really small? soon, one thing leads to another. as feelings grow, they grow a secret romance. Warnings: Age Gap Special Tag: Teacher AU

Welcome to the Party @lovelettersfromluna (X) Summary: Ellie has been living rent fucking free in my head and I absolutely cannot carry on any longer without writing about her Warnings: Bullying Special Tag: None

baby,noattachment @anchoeritic (X) Summary: together’. a term she always hated. ‘couple’. the thought of being in a relationship didn’t even cross her mind, not as much as it did yours. especially when she was calling you ‘hers’, and her as yours. Warnings: Angst Special Tag: None

Cheerleader @ellieslob (X) Summary: Ellie Likes to watch you in the bedroom. Warnings: Stalker, Voyeurism Special Tag: High School AU

sweet cherry chapstick @anchoeritic (X) Summary: finding yourself in another late night "talk" with ellie, she reminds you of her jealousy and you can't help but counter it. Warnings: Angst Special Tag: None

First Time @les4elliewilliams (X) Summary: Ellie talking reader through her first time having sex and just being really gentle. Warnings: None Special Tag: First time AU

Mermaid @caraphernellie Summary: ellie moves to a lonely coastal town, and finds herself with toes in the sand more often than not nowadays. she ignored the folk tales she'd hear from elderly residents, those about mythical creatures hiding in the sea. until she makes eye contact with something otherworldly one winter afternoon. Warnings: None Special Tag: Mermaid AU

Outlawed Romance @slutt4ellie (X) Summary: It’s 1868 and you’ve ran in with one of your childhood best friends, while rekindling your friendship it starts to become clear that’s not all the two of you are. Warnings: Cheating, Homophobia, Death Special Tag: Wild West

CAM-GIRL! ELLIE @r3starttt (X) Summary: You and Ellie are Cam-Girls. Warnings: None Special Tag: Cam-Girls

insecure @seraphicsentences(X) Summary: chubby!reader feeling insecure and Ellie noticing and worshiping her body like a damn goddess Warnings: None Special Tag: None

Pretty Like a deer @bugbit3ss(X) Summary: You like your boyfriends sister. Warnings: Cheating Special Tag: None

God’s Favorite/Devil’s Choice @cxrdycxps (X) Summary: You are faced with a choice. Warnings: religious trauma, child abuse (emotional and physical, mental illness, physical illness Special Tag: None

𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀 𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄, 𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐖𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 @navluvr Summary: when you father hires your ex to be his farmhand, you're left with less and less self control as the days pass, always keeping an eye on the auburn-haired girl that had stolen your heart years ago Warnings: None Special Tag: exes to lovers

ellie's breeding strap @mystellenia (X) Summary: ellie tries out the cum filled strap with you for the first time. Warnings: None Special Tag: None

Mafia @savannahsdeath (X) Summary: None Warnings: None Specials Tags: Mafia Au

𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝚰𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐃𝚰𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑 @les4elliewilliams (X) Summary: None Warnings: mention of blood/murders, drugs usage Specials Tags: Ghost Face Au

Halloween Heartbeat @thetorturedfagdepartment Summary: None Warnings: None Specials Tags: Halloween Au

you know how I love it when you ride on me @theresascove(X) Summary: Ellie fucks you in the locker room showers while her teammate is chatting to her in a nearby shower Warnings: None Specials Tags: College AU

hunting&f*cking @theresascove (X) Summary: you feel her presence drawing closer. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Pray Au

oh baby, can you hear me moan @girlrotterr (X) Summary: You come home earlier than usual to find your roommates door slightly ajar. You can’t help but peek inside. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Roommate Au

AFLAME @vxsellie (X) Summary: your apartment goes up in flames and you're unlucky enough to have been on the top floor, your front door blocked by fire. thankfully, a certain firefighter finds you before it's too late Warnings: None Specials Tags: Multi Part, Fire Fighter AU

#x reader #reading fanfiction #reading list #reading recommendations #fanfic recommendation #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us

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sawyer-is-eepy · 8 months ago

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MaDD and plurality

okay so we're MaDD, right?? and we're also plural??

NOBODY talks about how freaking hard that makes communicating omg.

constantly i'll be trying to talk to someone and then i drift off and suddenly they are completely drowned out OR they're ALSO daydreaming!! it's so frustrating, because it means that to even semi-effectively communicate, i have to talk out loud. if i have to communicate something important and we're in a public place i just have to focus REALLY hard on internal communication and it sometimes STILL doesnt work.

on top of that, we have ADHD so it's even harder, and talking out loud still doesn't work that well because without another person physically here to snap me back to reality whenever i'm daydreaming, if i start daydreaming, i'm just stuck until i realize, which can be anywhere from within a minute to literally 20+ minutes. usually they're able to get my attention by that time, but it's hard because our communication is not easy for anyone but the host(me, who is ALWAYS fronting) to initiate, so unless i actively open myself to communicate with them, it's hard for them to get my attention. sometimes my daydreams even last hours, but that usually doesn't happen when i'm not actively deciding to daydream. so yeah, it's really difficult because i've already got issues focusing, and adding basically irresistable urges to daydream at random that get triggered way too easily on top of that, inner communication is SO HARD.

anyways, this makes making a tulpa really fucking difficult because forcing is really hard.

but here are my tips, for other MaDD, especially anyone making a headmate/alter/tulpa/parogen/whatever themself -

incorporate your daydreaming into the communicating/forcing. like daydream you and that alter hanging out and then communicate via that. this does not ensure that you won't start daydreaming about anything else, but it lessens the chances. if you try to force yourself to not daydream at ALL the urges are gonna be much harder to ignore, at least for me. if you're ALREADY daydreaming, and it gets interesting enough, minor distractions are gonna catch your attention less and less because you WANNA focus on this one daydream. it becomes much more enjoyable.

this kind of like the last one, but this is more specific to tulpa/parogen forcing. don't really view it as a chore, which i've accidentally been doing more and more. not a chore i dislike, but i've been viewing it like something i have to do every single day for x amount of time other wise it wont work and it'll fail horribly and everything will be ruined, when it shouldn't need to be that. it shouldn't be on a to-do list, unless that really works for you(which if that's the case that's freaking awesome and you should probably ignore this tip). idk about everyone else, but it's much easier for me to daydream if i'm treating something like something i need to do because it's so much more tempting to just go live somewhere else for a minute while i do things i need to do. i often daydream doing chores because it's not interesting enough to keep me grounded. so, to make sure it gets done, i drift off while i'm doing it, so i am doing it in the real world but to me i'm in another world or in one of my stories. but for forcing, to be able to do it, you HAVE to be constantly aware and present. if you view it like you're just having a fun little conversation with them, it becomes like whenever you're bored or lonely just like you would reach out to a friend, but instead you're getting some talking to your head friend in. even if it's not traditional forcing, it works and develops them more, even if it's just a bit here and there. idk about everyone else, but i think partially because of my ADHD and partially because of my MaDD, whenever i have a chore i need to do i kind of put it off if i'm already doing something. i don't really *want* to put it off, but i just can't get my body to move. especially when I'm daydreaming. because, why would i get up and do the boring thing when i can watch my story in my head ? it's so much easier to sit and do nothing. but as we all know, that ADHD paralysis is so so SO stress inducing, the best option is to always get up and try to force yourself to. idk if non-ADHD MaDD will relate at all though, because that paralysis is mostly exclusive to those with ADHD afaik, but for me, my MaDD makes it much worse. anyways, that probably didn't make much sense sorry

write down what everyone is saying. this makes it much easier to keep track of what they are saying and stay present, but it also documents the conversation as well. so even if you weren't that present during the conversation, or you're worried you'll forget something important, you'll have a record to read back on later if you need! and also with created alters/headmates, keeping track of their progress is always incredibly important!!

don't listen to music! this one might be a bit of a given but unless it's like instrumental music that you genuinely won't pay that much attention to but still helps you focus, DON'T listen to it. songs are an easy gateway into a daydream. ESPECIALLY songs with lyrics, even ones that you can't understand because they're in another language, which by the way for literally any other thing you need to focus on, that's a great tip, listening to music in other languages, because you can still focus with interesting music in the background but the lyrics arent grabbing you at all. anyways back to plural-related MaDD tips, yeah, don't listen to music. even if that song usually doesn't catch your attention. for me, if i'm talking, internally or externally, and there's music with lyrics playing, i reallyyy cannot focus on what i'm(or others, again, internally or externally) are saying. idk, might just be some sort of auditory processing issue related to my ADHD but i cannot focus on it, and because it's hard, i just need to pick one, and sometimes my brain picks the song and i just. stop talking. and start daydreaming.

idk what to do if you're not fronting and trying to communicate with whoever is fronting, because i've not switched(like i mentioned before, the host, who is me, has never not been the one fronting), but if anyone has any other tips either related to that or the ones i already have here, please feel free to let me know because i'd love to hear them and i'm sure others do too!! anyways, i hope i helped, idk this might be too specific to me.

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orchestrahearts · 9 days ago

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here it is! the wicked movie review.

Part 1: spoiler free

I’ll start by saying I’m pleasantly surprised. Given the previous few years of musicals to movie adaptations, I didn’t have the highest of expectations. I loved Jon M. Chu’s work on Crazy Rich Asians but I thought his adaptation of In The Heights had lots of pacing issues. With almost 3 hours of only act I, I was concerned about wasted time, but I’ll say that pretty much every minute of Wicked Part 1 was well used and the story flowed well. My friends will tell you I’m no big fan of some of Galinda’s costumes but there were plenty of them in the rest of the movie were well made and looked good. Ariana Grande also impressed me with her acting choices and vocal chops, which I had low expectations for. Cynthia Erivo’s voice was fabulous. What it comes down to is Jon M. Chu understood the assignment. I give this movie adaptation an A.

In depth spoiler thoughts below the cut.

Part 2: spoiler city.

Cast

Ariana Grande really surprised me with her vocal chops. I’d only seen a little of her Sam and Cat acting and heard her pop music, so I wasn’t super impressed with her voice but she really nailed it with the opera and the musical style singing. Her acting choices were fun to watch and the felt true to the Galinda energy that is the role in act I. I kind of wish they curled her hair more since it was varying levels of curled throughout the movie but I thought it looked best during What Is This Feeling, but that’s a personal preference. Her comedic timing was excellent throughout the entire movie, though she picked the hair toss that’s really big which I thought was an interesting choice. Overall I really was pleasantly surprised by her competency with the role.

Cynthia Erivo I liked from Harriet but also didn’t know her full singing ability. I thought she did a great job bringing out the multiple layers of Elphaba’s personality and she played the role in a way different than I’d seen on stage. I’m used to a more jaded, feisty and loud Elphaba but Cynthia was more quiet and reserved, but not in a way that took away from the character. She’s still sharp tongued and smart, but more like a cool thunderstorm with occasional loud claps than the raging fire I’m used to. She did a really awesome job with the balance of sharp to soft that Elphaba tends to need in order to be believable.

Nessa and Fiyero were great. Fiyero was cocky and extra before the Lion scene and more thoughtful afterward and always had a little chemistry with Elphaba, which makes it feel natural when we get to I’m Not That Girl. Nessa is played so well as a girl who wants to be treated like everyone else. She insisted that nobody help her when she needs to go somewhere and is visibly upset when people are moving her and, in a sense, controlling her when she wants to be self reliant for once after years of being babied by her father and nanny.

Choices

There were some choices throughout that I thought were a little strange though. I didn’t like the flash through all the different points with Galinda during No One Mourns the Wicked. 1) they didn’t show the scenes with Glinda from act II that happen before the song takes place and 2) it felt kind of out of context if you haven’t seen the film before. If you have, you can remember the moments Glinda is flashing back to but having seen it the first time, I didn’t like it.

Additionally they made the silver shoes belong to Elphaba and Nessa’s mom. I don’t know if I liked it or not but I thought it was a strange choice and I sort of prefer when it wasn’t and they were specially made for Nessa by her father, but I see how adding their mother to their significance makes them more important to both sisters.

I actually liked that the Animals walked on all fours. In both Wicked the novel and L. Frank Baum’s Oz, Animals were sentient and could speak and think, but they were still not humans and therefore walked on all fours. I also liked how at Shiz they had little pieces of technology around that allowed Dillamond to teach, like turning on the projector and closing the blinds. It easily could’ve gone too Zootopia if they had them on their hind legs.

Additionally I liked the inclusion of a nanny character in the childhood scenes. Not only does it feel like a little nod to the novels, where Elphaba was cared for by Nanny, and while the book Nanny was more tough love than the character included in the movie, I thought it added to the emphasis of rejection from her parents. I also thought it was a cool choice for her to be a Bear, so it could narratively added to Elphaba’s care of Animals later on in the story.

I loved how they handled the Dancing Through Life scene where Elphaba turns up in the hat. It really feels more intense with the way everyone is laughing, staring, mocking Elphaba and I absolutely loved how when Galinda joined her, her friends tried to stop her. It really showed how Galinda could be risking her popularity to show kindness to Elphaba, and how in this situation it paid off. It’s probably one of my favorite scenes in the movie. And more as a smaller note, I thought it was fun that during the whole song, Fiyero essentially seduced the entirety of Shiz. Sexuality is not an issue in Oz.

Costumes

I’ve said it to a few people but I don’t like the movies Bubble Dress. I’ve been trying to figure out for weeks what specifically I dislike about it, but after a lot of thought it’s the skirt. It uses too much tulle when I feel like for Glinda’s outfits, they should be using more silks or satins. I also really hate the wand they gave Glinda, it feels like a cheap Spirit Halloween toy rather than an expensive movie prop.

Both Elphaba and Galinda were wearing more formal attire you could almost call business casual while at Shiz, but I didn’t like how they were the only two not conforming to the uniform colors. Galinda by far was worse in this department, with her pink and lavender outfits, but Elphaba was also wearing slightly off shades of blue. It felt like they were imitating Wednesday and I didn’t like that choice. The outfits themselves were fine and I liked the cut and fit of the costumes, just not the color.

Galinda was in, by far, too much pink. I understand that pink is her iconic color that they always use in her merch, but it was too much. When you have Galinda constantly in pink, it takes away from the flair of when she wears it. It also feels a little childish of her to only wear one color, or at least cinematically elementary.

Overall the costumes were fine, but I kind of wish they chose a costume designer who had more experience in fantasy shows. They picked an artist who has only made costumes for period pieces, and it being their first foray into fantasy shows. I obviously have more to say about Galinda’s costumes, being a Glinda rper, but I have a lot of thoughts on the choices with the fabric especially that I didn’t like. There was altogether too much sheer and tulle fabrics in both leads costumes.

Music

Overall, I thought they did a great job with the music. It was well orchestrated for a full scale film soundtrack. I know they said they sang live onset but I think it’s a little obvious sometimes that (I think) they used a recording over the film to get perfectly clear sound. Maybe it was just me but I thought it looked a tiny bit lip synced at times rather than live sung.

This may have just been the theater I was in, but the sound mix for No One Mourns The Wicked sounded a little muddy to me. It’s the only song that did but as the camera was panning out of the witch’s tower and back to what looked like Munchkinland while the intro music played, the audio mix just felt a little off. It really could be the speakers at the theatre though, I opted for the regular tickets and not Dolby for my first pass at the movie.

The singing itself was excellent. I was surprised by how youthful Cynthia’s voice sounded, and I already talked under casting about how pleasantly surprised I was that Ariana had the vocal chops for Glinda. I also said (mostly as a joke) that if Ariana started doing runs through the movie, I’d leave. I’m happy to say both she and Cynthia generally sung it straight, and any runs they added generally had a good effect on the music. I won’t be buying the movie soundtrack, but I really did think it sounded great. I’ll definitely be purchasing the movie and using it to test new video watching setups the way I was previously using The Greatest Showman.

Conclusion

I will be seeing Wicked again. At least once, possibly twice depending on what my friends want to do. It was a genuinely enjoyable experience where it felt like seeing Oz again for the first time. Jon M. Chu truly understood the assignment and did the musical justice. If you saw the movie recently come talk to me, I’d love to talk about the movie more.

#wicked #the wicked movie #wicked movie #movie review

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sharksssm · 1 year ago

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Not Broken At All

ace!tav, hurt/comfort, no smut! My Tav is in love with Shadowheart, Gale and Astarion, yes I can fix them all and together we can do anything okay. You could see it sometimes, when you walked through camp, hear it in their voices. Attraction. You weren’t opposed to a romantic relationship with one (or more) of your new acquaintances. No, friends? Companions? Regardless, you felt more and more sick every time you had to turn someone’s advances down, feeling the relationships you were building grow slightly tense in the aftermath.

Lae’zel was first, and Astarion had propositioned you in the goblin camp, that one stung to turn down, your attraction to him was strong. You almost considered just sucking it up so that he wouldn’t look at you the same way the other two did. Disappointed. You had some wine with Shadowheart, looked at the weave with Gale and shared a thought of you two holding hands, and you couldn’t help but scold yourself. Childish. Now you settled down for your rest, where a feeling of anticipation for the journey ahead should be, a feeling of discomfort sits in your stomach instead, rumbling through your mind the more you looked at your companions. Astarion caught your eye over the cover of his book, quirking an eyebrow at you. Your cheeks reddened as you cast your eyes to the ground. “I couldn’t help but notice your eyes on me, darling. I don’t suppose you’ve anything to say?” He wants you to change your mind, to want him like he wants you. “Oh, uh, no Astarion, sorry.” He sighs deeply. “Right, what’s the problem then? No offense darling but you’ve hardly taken the kicked puppy look off that pretty face all day, and surely my offer isn’t so bad you’ve been actually hurt by it.” You shook your head, hands outstretched in a placating manner, not that Astarion sounded particularly upset by any stretch. Although, he rarely did, upset or not. “No, not at all! It’s something personal, an issue for me alone to deal with.” You could feel eyes on you, assessing the situation. It was no secret, the flame you had for Astarion, let alone for some of your other companions, but neither was your rejection of his advances. Lae’zel in particular was not being subtle, eyes glued on the two of you while she sharpened her sword, Gale’s flitting between you and Astarion with barely-disguised interest. Your shoulders slumped. “Since all of you are so interested, how about we all talk about it, and get it open amongst the group.” The palpable lack of eyes on you suddenly made you almost more self-conscious, and Astarion looked almost… annoyed. “Oh yes, let's talk to the whole camp about you rejecting me.” It took maybe 5 minutes to gather everyone, sans Withers and Halsin, around the fire, the sunset light casting a pink-orange hue over the scene. You sighed, hands clasped in your lap, fiddling with the little ring you’d bought from the tiefling child, one to supposedly ‘ward off ants.’ Gale had laughed at you and you’d just blushed, remembering how it felt to search for any money you could as a kid. It gave you something to play with now, at least, so it was useful in the end. “Look, everyone… I'd like be honest with you all, as many of you have been with me.” A murmur of agreeance went around the group, their attention focused. “You’ve all – literally all of you – flirted with me at some point in this journey.” Suddenly, eyes on each other, narrowed and wide alike. Shock, suspicion, and jealousy ran abound, but still, nobody said a word, waiting for you. Why am I the leader here?

“And look, I truly take no issue with flirting. I enjoy it, most of the time. I just – “ Deep breath. “Ever since I was a child, there’s been something wrong with me. I feel love, so much of it, but when it comes to… well, after, there’s no feeling. I would well and truly fall in love with any of you but I have no feeling, or desire, to have sex.”

The eyes on you blinked, but still no response came, and your stomach dropped into the pit of your stomach. “I know that there’s something broken within me, and of course I don’t expect your understanding at all, in fact I’m sure some of you may feel that I’ve led you on, but truly-“ Your rambling was interrupted by hands on either side of your face. Shadowheart, of all people, knelt in front of you, her hands were glowing blue. “I can’t sense a thing wrong with you, which means it must be natural. It is okay, to not want or crave sex as the rest of us do. I am more than happy to just be in your presence and only do the things you want to do. That will always be enough.” A tear rolled down your face, as she kissed your nose, and moved to make room for Gale, who took your hand in his, gently squeezing. “You are not broken, nor are you the only one who feels this way. In fact, I know someone quite the same, back in Waterdeep. I can assure you that anyone who gets to know you will be more than charmed enough to overlook it, and if they cannot, then they don’t deserve you at all.”

You offered him a watery smile, squeezing his hand. “I don’t expect all of you to understand, but thank you, at least, for hearing me out. I might take a walk.” You let go of Gale’s hand, smiling at Shadowheart and walked past a silent Astarion and a pensive-looking Lae’zel. You truly didn’t want to think about what the rest of your companions thought about your feelings, you had enough thoughts of your own to contend with as you walked into the forested area behind your camp. Your whole life – childhood, your teenage years, you’d never met anyone like you, let alone anyone who accepted it so wholly. And here were two people who both accepted you and assured you that you were not alone.

You were so lost in thought you’re surprised you even heard a crunch of soil behind you. You spun, drawing your dagger, relaxing fully when you spotted Astarion. “Snapping twigs on purpose are you?” He smiled, walking towards you. “Well darling, I need to give you enough notice to get away from that dagger of yours in time.” You smiled weakly, sheathing it away and wrapping your arms around yourself. “Astarion, you don’t need to-“ “I need to apologise actually.” You looked up at him, red eyes meeting your own. “I asked you for sex, and when you said no I viewed it as a challenge, not a firm answer. That’s… not okay.” He appeared almost pained, and you reached out for his arm on instinct. “Astarion, you aren’t the first and you won’t be the last.” His eyes met yours, steeled and angry. “Your body and feelings are yours, nobody should ever try to take that choice, that truth, away from you.” You thought about what Astarion had told you previously, about Cazador and his treatment of Astarion. “Nobody should have taken it away from you either Astarion.” He took a step back, and a deep breath through his nose as his eyes closed, opening them again with a determined, but soft look in his eyes. “I know. Thank you. But let’s not distract from what I came here to tell you, which is that you are not broken, at all.” You were sure he could hear your heart beat faster at his words, perhaps even smell the blood flush your cheeks. He sighed, a heavy, deep sigh, of someone afraid of what might happen next.” “I also wanted to tell you that you were wrong.” Your heart felt like it stopped in your chest. “About?” “Do you remember when I was trying to honey you with words, how you laughed and said I was lying when I said ‘I love you?’ Well, I think I do. Or, well, I’m starting to.” Oh. Your mouth opened uselessly, and Astarion kept talking. “I had this nice, simple plan. Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me. It was easy – instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it. But you wouldn’t sleep with me. I tried everything – a knee between your legs as I fed, slight touches, outright asking. And even though I didn’t get anywhere with my seduction – I failed the other part of my plan, the part where I didn’t fall for you. Your mouth was dry, and you licked your lips, eyes on the ground, watching an ant scurry away from you. Damned ring, maybe it was magic. “You… you’re incredible.” His hand found your cheek, your face angled back towards him. “You deserve something real. I want us to be something real.”

A tear fell from your eye. You had no right to be hurt, you knew this was how he was trained – a training he was trying his hardest to break. But you’d let yourself fall for him, let yourself let someone into this closely guarded place within you. “Were you ever attracted to me, really? Or was it all just to try and bed me.” He looked almost shocked, throwing his hands out towards your body. “Of course I was attracted to you! I mean, look at you for goodness sake! You’re a vision.” He took your hand in his then, looking into your eyes, as if willing you to believe him to take his honestly at face value and not question him. “And you’re so much more than that. I just… don’t know what to think. I don’t know what I want.” You enveloped his hands in yours, stepping closer as he spilled more of his truth to you. “Gods, I don’t even know what ‘real’ looks like. Not after two hundred years playing the rake. Being close to someone, any kind of intimacy, was something I performed, a lure to bring people back to him. The idea of sex – it feels tainted. It brings up all these feelings of disgust, and loathing. I just – I don’t know how else to be with someone.” He put his chin up, addressing his next words to the empty space behind your head. “No matter how much I’d like to.” You’d seen him do this before, of course. Addressing the space behind you, steeling himself for disappointment, for rejection. “Astarion…” you murmured, running your hand down his arm, reminding him you’re still here, present. “I care about you, deeply.” His eyes shot back to yours, wide and hopeful. “Really?” You mulled your options here over in your mind, before stepping forward and wrapping your arms around him. He said he didn’t know how else to be with someone, and this was the only way you could be with someone. It took him a moment, but eventually you felt his face in your shoulder, his arms returning your embrace. You stood like that for a few moments, simply enjoying each other’s arms, before you stepped back, his face looking at your longingly. You could hug him every day for the rest of your lives and it wouldn’t be enough. “You.. you’re full of surprises, aren’t you? Honestly I have no idea what we’re doing – or what comes next.” The smile on his face lit the darkness around you up, and you couldn’t help but smile back. “But this,” he took your hand in his, “this is nice.”

You basked in this moment as long as you could, playfully chatting and holding hands, even hugging him again, but eventually, your tired eyes betrayed you, and Astarion insisted you needed rest, tugging you back to camp. You trekked back, cautiously optimistic. For now, Astarion was yours, okay with your sexlessness, okay with your love for him being only emotional and physical in all the ways excluding sex. Maybe after you killed Cazador, Astarion would change his mind, and seek out a partner who could provide him with everything he could ever want, a true romance. But a fire you thought snuffed out long ago burnt dimly inside you, a hope. You could be enough, as you are, enough for him to love you like you loved him, to stay with you and be happy and content without sex. You closed your eyes, the ground much more flat and without gnarled roots to trip your feet, and your love’s hand for guidance. You let yourself believe.

BONUS: Wyll: "I didn't mention it earlier, surrounded by your loves and all, but you are whole, love for sex and other festivities or none at all. You're not broken, or wrong, you just have an appetite for a different kind of love. I admire your bravery, my friend." Lae'zel: While my people sate our appetites freely, there are many among us who may choose not to partake. They are still just as strong in battle, as are you. Karlach: Soldier, I couldn't care less about something like that! Hell, you could tell me you exclusively fuck bugbears and I'd still love you! Well, actually, maybe not that, but you get the idea! Ugh, I just want to hug you forever. *proceeds to try and do so*

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate gale #bg3 gale #bg3 shadowheart #shadowheart #baldurs gate shadowheart #tav x astarion #bg3 polyamoury #asexual tav #ace tav #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fic #writing practice

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destinygoldenstar · 1 year ago

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Is Screen Time An Issue For A Character?

That’s a tough one.

I see quite a few arguments about some shows I’ve watched that ‘oh, this character is bad because they have too much screen time’. Or ‘I wish this character had more screen time to be interesting.’

Basically, too much screen time is now a valid critique to describe why a character is bad or doesn’t work for you. And to that I say…

Uh… no?

I’ll give some examples where I see this critique, but for now I want to state a case of examples where I expected to see this critique online, but didn’t, and I wondered why.

SPOILERS BELOW FOR THE SPIDERVERSE SEQUEL:

The main character of the Spiderverse movies is Miles Morales. Clear as day if you see ANY promotional concept art. The movies nail that home and give you a solid POV character among the Multiverse chaos.

The sequel begins with an over twenty minute backstory sequence involving Gwen Stacy, a side character in the first movie.

(Fun fact: When me and my dad went to see it in theaters together, he said that backstory was over twenty minutes long and that he thought they could've trimmed it down. Animated-phobia gives you weird opinions. He didn't watch Arcane with me and thought nothing of it because 'it was an animated show'. Not kidding.) (Both of my parents are like this, sadly.)

Now, in the context of the movie, it makes sense to include this to understand the full POV of her character going forward. As she is pretty vital to the story.

I tried imagining a version of the movie where we DIDN'T get this intro, went straight to Miles, and we just had to put the pieces together involving Gwen and her actions. And I don't think the movie would've worked nearly as well.

This brings me to another point involving Gwen Stacy in this movie: She's kind of become a protagonist as well, next to Miles.

Is this screen time theft? Under the screen time critique, it probably would seem that way.

And yet nobody I've seen complains. If anything, this solidified her as one of the best movie adaptations of Gwen Stacy out there. In my opinion.

Unlike the first movie, this one is not driven by the narrative of the main character, but rather multiple.

This is not uncommon. And it's an even bigger case with Arcane.

Yeah, this show is phenomenal everyone who says so is right Jinx is an icon Vi is my cartoon crush next to Petra I was crying so hard at the ending and for that alone this show deserves every ounce of praise it gets and I'm kind of an Arcane stan-

*Inhales*

I think I just have a thing for dystopian stories where characters walk through hell.

(Yes I consider TD a dystopian setting, that'd be a nice hot take to tackle one day.)

The Hunger Games is my favorite dystopian setting that I've seen, just because it's very memorable and inspiring. But Arcane is objectively the best dystopian story out there. If I fade out of my Total Drama obsession, this show might be my next target.

Cupcakes. El fin.

I could stop there, but lets talk about why we're here.

Arcane does not focus on the two main characters only as the driving force of its narrative.

Advertisement tell you that our main characters are the two growing war machines who go around calling each other sisters, Vi and Powder (Jinx. Idk how mad people get for which name I use for her. Sorry if I offend you). In fact, there's evidence to back that up. Other than they're the people with dyed hair, that's instant main character. They're the first characters we meet in the entire show. They're the characters with the final scene that closes off the season. EVERY ending to an act is with them. They're the main characters. Boom.

But wait. Nearly TWO THIRDS of this show doesn't even focus on them!

We have all the Piltover characters we keep switching back to. Jayce, Viktor, Mel, Caitlyn for Act 2 pretty much, Silco kind of becomes his own protagonist in Act 3. Really, the only people who remain consistent side characters are Ekko, and the two boys that get blown to pieces by Powder. And... some other people I'm forgetting the names of. (Sorry, I only had two watch throughs of this show so far and I know nothing about League other than the sisters become enemies.)

Now, why?

Why is this the case? I'm not saying characters other than our mains don't get fleshed out at all, but to the point where they're basically major enough to carry their own show? That SOUNDS like a detriment to the story if anything, especially how unfocused it kind of all gets until the end where everyone's in the same room.

Had Vi or Jinx interact with these characters, their fleshing out makes sense, and you definitely see that with characters like Caitlyn and Silco, who kind of need them to function.

But the Piltover gang? Jinx doesn't meet them at all, neither of the sisters meet Viktor, and Vi does meet Jayce, but in Episode 8 of 9.

Why does nobody complain about this? If anything, these guys are stealing screen time.

Well, it turns out, this is all done in Arcane's benefit, rather than fault. We are all the protagonist of our own story, and there are multiple POVs regarding the world.

It's basically if Hunger Games was third person instead of first, and we actually got a chance to flesh out the other rebels/children.

Me personally, and I know I'm not the only one out there, but the sisters were the most interesting thing about the show, and other characters that talk to them were how they caught my attention. That in no way means I don't care for anyone though, and it's COMPLETELY a PERSONAL thing.

So whenever we DO focus on the sisters and their story, not only do we get these other POVS on the scene that could clash with our view of them, but it makes it so that EVERY. SCENE. MATTERS.

No scene is wasted in fleshing out the sister's story. Everything has a purpose and drives it all to one heartbreaking simulation. There's no wasted space, there's no lack of attention to a certain detail, darn it, it's just right.

(I mean, I guess I would've liked to see what they went through in that time skip, like how Jinx was raised by Silco and processed her new identity, or better yet how tf Vi survived prison when it's heavily implied she beat people to a pulp and got solitary multiple times. But I think Season 2 is gonna cover it.)

Seriously, imagine a version of this show real quick.

Imagine a version of the show that took the Hunger Games approach, and used first person POV on one of the two sisters, doesn't matter which one, they'd both work. Cut out scenes not involving that sister. The other characters that appear revolve around scenes they're in with that sister.

Would that work nearly as well?

I don't think so.

Now First Person POV isn't necessarily a bad thing. Danganronpa is first person. Minecraft Story Mode is first person. Those are probably not great examples, but it can work. (TDDRI, a fic of mine, is first person, and I had to work around that to flesh out everyone else. It can work.)

This show is very hot topic and weirdly paced than what I'm used to. So take everything with a grain of salt as I am nowhere near an expert with this show. The show's story doesn't even get started until Episode 4, as the first three episodes are all flashback to explain where our characters are and why they're motivated to do what they do.

Again, I tried imagining a version of this show where we DIDN'T get those first three episodes, we started with Episode 4, and we just had to ASSUME all the backstory involving the sisters and the titular arcane and put the pieces together through Vi's words and Jinx's hallucinations. I don't think we would have been nearly as invested.

So with these two examples, WHY does nobody complain about screen time involving a character?

Is it because they're just really good pieces of media? Or is there a reason for this?

After all, Spiderverse and Arcane fall under the category of an 'ensemble cast'. A cast of characters in a story where there is no titular main character to drive the narrative, and everyone does instead. It's like if Harry Potter was 'Hogwarts' instead, or some title like that.

But lets take a look at some examples of ensemble casts where there's been a complaint of some sort with screen time:

Total Drama and RWBY.

Now I only like one of these two shows, so I'm gonna put that aside for now.

Total Drama. It has an ensemble cast. The show is about teenagers suffering-I mean competing for a prize, eliminating each other bit by bit as it goes along. Naturally with that setup, early boots are left to dry. But that doesn't stop people from complaining.

Ezekiel gets the most flack for too little screen time, and major fanboys say he should've had more focus. Personally I don't get that based on what role he's deigned to play. Caleb is a more recent example. I thought he was gonna have a bigger role and character than he ended up having, and him being a first boot gag makes even less sense than Zeke. Dawn is a fan favorite who isn't even in that many episodes. Axel is a ripoff of Shawn because of her lack of screen time. Scary Girl is... Scary Girl, who I don't see the fuss about her little screen time as she's comic relief, but the complaint is there. There is SO MUCH bashing about Noah's lack of screen time it is not even funny. So much so that he's sharing screen time with another person.

And who is to blame for this: Well, the characters who make it really far into the game, or course! How dare they steal screen time away from these guys!

I feel like Ripper is the most recent example of this. His character arc was about him breaking a world record. He broke it. It's Episode 5. Now he can leave the show, right-

Nope. He's around till Episode 8. Out of 13. And even then, in Episode 13, he's Millie's partner, which means screen time.

It sounds unjustified because it is. I'm not the biggest Ripper hater, but I definitely see the complaints. (Ripper and Damien swapping places are the only part of the elimination order I would change. Everything else is pretty spot on.)

We already have MK as a pre-merge antagonist and Julia as a post merge antagonist, we don't need this rando bully character as well as it adds nothing. Maybe Ripper would've been better liked if he wasn't a bully and just some morally average comic relief guy, but also... probably not.

But he's not the only fart based character in this show that gets complaints about screen time. Here's where I talk about the first gen.

For what I have seen, the ones with the biggest screen time complaints are Owen, Duncan, and Beth. I don't count Heather cause it's on purpose. I count Sierra because it's a personal gripe I have.

Owen was the original winner of TDI, came back on the show in the second season for a mole subplot nobody likes, and merged season three. He and Noah also got a spinoff.

Beth was the finalist of TDA.

And everyone hates it, including myself.

Then there's Duncan. Easily the character the show focuses on the most. Season 1? 4th place. Season 2? Winner. Season 3? Gone half the season so he's only in 8 episodes not counting what he didn't compete in, but he scored 5th overall. Season 5? Weakest performance, but he still merged. That's 8th place by the way.

By far, THIS is the character in this show that gets the MOST horrendous flack for his screen time. And from what I've learned, if you think this, you probably hate Duncan as a character.

Like, I haven't watched Winx, but I saw videos on YouTube that made fun of Bloom for getting too much screen time.

Somebody do those but with Duncan! I'm not a Duncan hater, but I would like to get a laugh!

So it'd just be easy to say the writers played favorites, it was an issue, and be done with it, right?

Except no.

My GF watched World Tour just recently. (And she was mixed on it.) Her comments regarding Duncan and Gwen were that she wished they had more interactions to sell them (she was routing AGAINST Duncney, basically) and it didn't help that Duncan was gone half the season. She said that it would've helped all the characters involved if he stayed to flesh that out.

To that I went: "Huh. That's interesting how you take no issue with this character's screen time."

But why though? She's not a stan of him, she's a casual viewer, so that can't be it.

And that's when it hit me.

Beth and Sierra. These two make it through an entire season each. And we both collectively hate them as characters. And we hate seeing them on screen.

That's because it's what the characters DO with their screen time.

See what I'm talking about:

Season 1: Duncan is an established character that develops relationships and friendships and learns to open up to people outside of his comfort bad boy zone.

Trent spends 16 episodes sitting still and looking pretty with a guitar. (Okay that's probably not a great example, and I don't hate Trent, but you kinda get it)

Season 2: Duncan is dealing with revenge on Harold for his spoiled relationship with Courtney where he gets abused by her, fights to hold his own, and dumps her.

Beth spends the entire season talking about a fake boyfriend and cheating on it.

Season 3: Duncan, again, is only competing in 8 episodes out of 26, but what does he do? He establishes a new relationship with Gwen, gets her cancelled, forms a friendship with Alejandro, and gets played.

Sierra is there the entire season sexually harassing Cody and passing it off as quirky. We hate to see it. (Seriously, you guys think the love triangle is worse than this? My GF and I agreed we would rather watch the love triangle ten times again, over Sierra being on screen at all.)

What's the difference here? STORY.

Certain characters have story to follow, that NEEDS that screen time to work. Ironically, the plotline of Duncan's that comes across the least genuine, is the season where he's on screen the least. (Not counting All Stars, but they're kind of equal in episodes Duncan's in.)

Again, imagine if we never had that backstory sequence of Gwen Stacy. Yes it eats up screen time, but without it? She would come across as an ingenuine traitor who supposedly ditched her dad for some cool spider society. We NEEDED that sequence.

Duncan is always doing something when the screen is focused on him.

The reason Beth and Sierra don't work despite having all the screen time in the world is that they do NOTHING with the screen time they get. Nothing of value at least. We could've learned a lot about their origins, Beth's underdog status, or Sierra's fanclub, flesh them out as dynamic characters to route for, with different sides of them that slip through time to time that gets the audience thinking.

Nope. Sexual harassment makes up for all of that. (I question why I put up with this show sometimes.)

That would be the case and that's the answer, just do something with your screen time and you're free to have as much as you want.

Except there's ANOTHER key to the puzzle here.

Duncan is in the top 4 of the TD cast for a reason.

He's a main character.

Something Jaune Arc is not.

Hello nemesis my old friend.

Look, I respect people who like RWBY. People can feel any way they want to about a show. Opinions are valid.

If you think Arcane is the worst show ever made, that's valid.

If you think Velma is the best show ever made, that's valid.

It's all VALID.

With that said I think this show is an absolute trainwreck when it comes to writing characters.

Now hold on before you say I hate everything about it, I don't. This show does have SOME merits to it. The music is stellar and I actually listen to the soundtrack from time to time. For a limited budget animation, it's impressive. The choreo is neat. I want these weapons. I actually like quite a few of the side characters. Keep in mind I said side.

But what I look for in a good show is a compelling story and interesting characters to follow.

Something this show just does not have in my opinion.

I keep saying I'll do an analysis post on why Team RWBY are awful protagonists, but I've been busy and my plate has not emptied. But one of my main points regarding them is screen time.

Keep in mind, I've only seen fully up to Season 8. I've only seen clips of Season 9, so whatever I say about 9 may not be accurate.

Team RWBY are the main characters of the show, and yet they have not done a single main character thing throughout EIGHT SEASONS. It's kind of incredible.

If I didn't know the name of the show but saw a clip, I'd assume the main character was Jaune, or Oscar, more on them later.

What have these girls contributed in the battle of Salem's forces?

Season 1: Blake helped stop a robbery. Not even all four of them, just Blake. (So did Sun and Penny.)

Season 2: They broke into the White Fang's secret operation and busted a train into the city to fight off some Grim, in time for Team CFVY to wipe them out. (Those characters appear TWICE in the ENTIRE show, this is the first time. Just to speak my point.)

Season 3: Yang got framed for assault which helped the bad guys. Ruby watched Pyyra die and she blasted an eyeball off Cinder.

Season 4: UH...

Season 5: They housed Oscar, they met Raven, and they took place in the battle of Haven where Yang got the relic. (So did Oscar, JNR, Qrow)

Season 6: They took the relic to Atlas. (So did Oscar, JNR, Qrow)

Season 7: They lied to the general about vital information that could've helped them get one on Salem, and doomed all of Atlas.

Season 8: They caused the death of a kingdom and fell through a hole.

Season 9: UH... (That's not me not knowing what happened in 9, they just climbed out of the hole, basically, as the season has nothing to do with Salem's forces.)

Now, because the main characters are not involved with the main plot very much, does that make them bad?

No. There ARE ways to utilize them outside of driving the external plot.

Some stories are Character vs Self, Internal Conflict. The basis of this show's story is that these kids who grew up to be military soldiers are learning that their lives and the world is not a fairy tale, and they're not the good guys. That SOUNDS like the show is all about internal conflict, right?

Well it's not.

I mean, they DO realize this and make a morally questionable choice with consequences they regret.

In Season SEVEN.

And even THEN, they're treated by gods themselves like they've done nothing wrong!

If you ask me, it should have happened a LONG time ago.

What internal conflicts do these girls have?

Ruby is a naive prodigy who wants to be a huntress and live out a fairy tale reality. And she lives out that dream. Then Pyyra dies and she loses that home. And then she's back to fairy tale land, just doing more crimes and hating authority. And I GUESS she learned a lesson in 9...? I just saw her as depressed.

Weiss is an heiress of a rich company trying to overthrow rule of her father, who hates her. She hates Faunus. She learns not to hate Faunus. And she gains a lot of powers.

Blake is part of a civil rights movement with Faunus and she likes assaulting her own kind and burning their homes. She also has an abusive boyfriend and kills him with a girlfriend by her side.

Yang lost her mommy and wants to find her. She loses her arm. She finds her mommy but doesn't give a s**t because plot. She also gets a girlfriend.

That's like Vi and Jinx's reunion, only they didn't care about seeing each other again after years, they just pointed fists and guns at each other and said, "Where's the arcane?! Where's Silco?! I'm not here for you, I have a police GF now!" "I'm not here for you, I just wanted an easy route to blast Piltover to pieces! Mwahaha!"

See where I'm going with that?

Internal conflict is a key to making characters screen time worth while.

But lets face it, Team RWBY not having very well established internal/relevance to the external conflict is not the full reason why this is a problem with their screen time.

It's their lack thereof.

Three quarters of every season, they're just sitting at some random place that's not even pretty to look at, and the SIDE CHARACTERS do all the plot relevant stuff.

See why I like the side characters better?

Lets look at that chart again:

Season 1: Sun and Penny stopped that robbery.

Season 2: Team CFVY stopped the Grim invasion.

Season 3: Pyyra's story and downward spiral to her death.

Season 4: Nora and Ren the season.

Season 5: Oscar. The tribe.

Season 6: Oscar again as he's responsible for the exposition involved in that season.

Season 7: Ironwood's descent into insanity AND Penny's descent into accidental heroism.

Season 8: Both those characters die. Everyone dies.

Season 9: ...okay, good point, there was no one else.

Okay so maybe Season 9 gets a pass, but the others? Can you really put Team RWBY in a plot summary?

And that's just external conflict talking, let's talk the MAIN CHARACTER with the INTERNAL conflicts throughout the ENTIRE show.

Jaune Arc.

A SIDE character, voiced by one of the writers, has some of the most plotlines to follow due to his internal struggle and conflict in this new war throughout the entire show.

He has something to do in MOST of the seasons of this show. Not unlike Duncan. The only time I think he didn't have anything going on was Season 7.

In the very first season, Jaune has an entire character arc surrounding him trying to find his inner strength with a one off bully character as an antagonist. That sounds fine, so what's the issue?

This character arc takes up FOUR episodes out of 16. A WHOLE QUARTER OF THE SEASON.

"Well, maybe those episodes cut away to other people at some points-"

No. They don't. It's all Jaune in all these episodes.

Season two is less so Jaune focused, but he has a little subplot surrounding letting go of his feelings for Weiss and finding another girl who would gladly take him. I guess it's priority respect because Neptune was into Weiss at the time? But those two wound up never being a thing, so...

The whole time I thought Weiss was just asexual, but then 9 came in to screw that idea.

Season three focuses on Pyyra, Jaune's love interest, and therefore he's vital to her story and her thought process, so much so that the big angst moment in the season is with him and their death kiss.

Season four and five are focused on Jaune's thirst for revenge on Cinder, a member of Salem's forces, for killing Pyyra. He learns about Salem's forces along the way, makes his own opinion about all this lore, and decides to help out due to his personal necessity.

Wow. He has an internal conflict going on, AND he's active with the external conflict. HMM...

Season six is him letting go of his grief after his moral failure from the Battle of Haven nearly getting Weiss killed. And also he pins Oscar to the wall because why not. It's brief but it's also a full on character arc.

Season eight, he kills Penny, a girl he has never interacted with before this point, and he's a grieving mess. So much so that season nine also includes Jaune dealing with MULTIPLE grieving instances and personal failures.

Everyone else got a seasonal break from the story, and yet Jaune could not.

Now, is this a screen time issue?

Yes.

But NOT for the reasons you might think.

Let's go off of Duncan again, a character with a major status in the show's story and conflict from day one. He was designed that way.

Jaune was not designed that way. BUT I don't actually hate his story for the screen time he gets. In fact, he's probably one of the most interesting characters in the show because there's so much time dedicated to his struggle and his story.

The elephant in the room isn't because Jaune has a story.

It's because the main characters don't have a story.

Again, Arcane, that show focuses on a LOT of characters that aren't Vi and Jinx. You could argue Jayce is the Jaune in their universe. But why does it work? Because there is NOT a neglect of characterization of the leads.

In RWBY, there's a serious neglect issue.

And it's not just Jaune. There are other side characters who've been stealing time away from the leads.

Oscar, ever since he debuted Season 4, has been devoted to screen time stealing, and stealing the main character status with a Chosen One narrative and a pretty offensive way of portraying Multiple Personality Disorder. He's the one with the chosen one story, he's the one who interacts with the bad guys, he's toe to toe with Ironwood, he's the one related to Salem, and he does all of it with the personality of a hollow pine tree.

I mean I guess he also has a crush on Ruby, but... I don't want to get into that.

Hell, CINDER, an ANTAGONIST of the show, has more conflict and screen time than the leads. And she's one of my least favorite characters in the entire show, isn't that sweet?!

On top of that, she's a VILLAIN. We shouldn't be routing for her!

Then there's the rest of JNPR. Nora and Ren have a season focused on them, that being season 4. Pyyra is the same case with season 3. Pyyra dies in that season, so she's obviously not getting screen time any further. But Ren and Nora are alive, AND they have a subplot in the Atlas arc. Having a subplot isn't a problem, it just becomes jarring when the main characters don't have an arc and they do.

Penny gets revived and dies in the Atlas arc. That's also a thing.

The fix here should be really simple! Swap roles! Have the side characters sit in the houses with their little arcs, and have Team RWBY on the fields reacting to everything. It wouldn't excuse their lack of inner struggle, but at least they'd be involved with the plot.

There are many ways you could fix this. Like Oscar's role of being related to Salem. Ruby's mom is dead, but like, what if her mom was Salem and was taken out in war and revived/corrupted into this monster figure? That'd be an interesting narrative.

And RWBY is not the only show, the previous season of Pretty Cure, Delicious Party, ALSO has this issue. And arguably they did it worse because I don't even care for the side characters there either. I'd be repeating myself with criticism there:

Yui, the supposed main character, has no character trait other than be a glutton and a stand in for her grandmother, the other Cures are also irrelevant to the plot and just spend their time eating. The boys of this magical girl show are the focus and have all the wishy washy plotlines, and none of them are even that interesting.

I will give RWBY this over Delicious Party to prove I can see its merits:

At least they only have ONE forth wall narration and do know boundaries to that stuff, as opposed to Delicious Party that thinks their viewers are IDIOTS, and needs a narrator to explain EVERYTHING. CONSTANTLY.

(What a new low for that franchise, am I right? At least we have Hirogaru Sky.)

So what have we learned here?

To answer the question: Is Screen Time An Issue For A Character?

No. It's not that simple.

It's what the character DOES with that screen time that matters. And their role in the story that warrants this screen time.

They need to have all the details of their story laid out for you to care about them.

They need every scene involving their story to matter.

They need to have a plotline that justifies the screen time, small role or big role.

They need to be involved with the main story if they are a major character.

They need an internal conflict to keep the time on them engaging.

They need to be doing something.

If they are a minor character, additional screen time is not a bad thing.

A minor character with a lot of screen time could be there to advance the world building, they could be heavily connected to major character, relationship or otherwise.

But the minor characters don't become favorites and neglect focus on the people the story is revolving around.

First Person POV is a difficult storytelling technique when it comes to screen time, but it's not a bad tool. It can be used as a certain perspective for every character involved if done properly.

And just... screen time alone isn't a valid criticism in my opinion. It's WAY more complicated than that.

What's your opinion? Reblog your thoughts, I'm very curious, especially with media with this issue I did not cover.

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typellblog · 2 years ago

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Hitagi Crab - An Analysis

Let’s start with Oshino’s story about the boy who sold his shadow. It’s present in the anime only as text flashing on screen at the start of the episode, which feels like the kind of thing you do not when something is unimportant, but rather when it takes up too much space to fit in the anime adaptation.

I think it’s a good jumping-off point, though.

To summarize, the boy sells his shadow to a strange old woman for ten pieces of gold. This is already strange, raising the question of what value we place on something as unimportant yet natural as one’s shadow. Losing the shadow doesn’t inconvenience the boy in any way – the problem arises when he returns home and the townspeople find his lack of a shadow to be creepy. As Oshino puts it, what the boy sold wasn’t just his shadow, but “what ought to be”.

The shadow itself is nothing, the reflection of an absence.

The parallel to Senjougahara is clear. While her weightlessness inconveniences her directly in some ways, by far the biggest is the social consequences – or rather, what she does to ensure that there are no social consequences. In order to live a normal life with her condition she must ensure that nobody gets close enough to her – literally, physically close to her – in order to find out.

The school setting is interesting in this respect. There’s a certain mandated closeness between students, but an equally mandated distance, like the arrangement of seats in a classroom. Senjougahara isn’t bullied or shunned, but nor is she approached.

She didn’t simply lose her weight, she also lost her presence, becoming “ethereal”, like she isn’t there at all.

This, however, is a deliberately maintained act. She reads books during class as if “building walls around herself”. She uses stationery to fend Araragi off. She builds a shell around herself, like a crab, and then uses her claws to snip at anyone who gets close.

Let’s talk about misconceptions. This is a theme that’s present early on, when Senjougahara refers to herself as a tsundere, implying that her cold persona will be pulled back to reveal a loving attitude. (Araragi doubts this.)

Many things are revealed about her, in this story.

Take, for example, how long she spends changing, Araragi assuming that she’s showing off when in fact she genuinely isn’t that good with wearing clothes. She hides the surgery scar on her back by giving him the full frontal view.

Acting tough in the cram school, an environment that poses real danger to her. Being reluctant to trust Oshino after already being fooled five times.

At every turn, what Araragi takes to be rudeness or arrogance is bravado, trying to distract from and cover up old wounds.

Perhaps his most significant misconception is that she’s already given up, “resigned herself” to a life of weightlessness. But why see five different con-men about it – why trust Araragi, despite being willing to cause significant injury in order to make him go away a minute ago? Part of it is witnessing his vampiric healing (and the self-sacrificial nature it represents), of course, but even so some part of her still wants to believe she can be cured. She only half-trusts Oshino, but put the other way around, that still means she’s giving him half of her trust.

Because – and this is the root of it all – Senjougahara wants to hold on to something.

Now is probably a good time to bring up oddities. It’s not particularly original to point out that they serve as physical manifestations of a person’s specific mental and emotional issues. Their very existence is questionable, a “trick of perspective”, the reflection of an absence. The important bit here is that their existence is also metaphorical, a sort of pun-as-narrative, as you can see with the Weight Crab’s name also being interpreted as ‘Emotion God’.

The Weight Crab does not only take away Senjougahara’s weight, but also her emotions, her memories, and crucially her ties to other people, snipping them up with its great big claws.

To link back to what we were talking about earlier, the reason why she distances herself from others isn’t really to hide her weightlessness. The deeper cause, the reason why the Weight Crab visited her in the first place, was to repress her trauma, to lighten her burden, to make it easier to go on without being bothered by her connections to others.

She lives a kind of ethereal half-life, untroubled by her poor relationship with her mother and the memories of nearly being raped, but equally troubled by her lack of feeling towards them, unable to properly move on.

All the bells and whistles that Oshino sets up - the priest outfit, the ritual site, the ‘purified clothing’ – exist simply to get her in the right mindset. He isn’t helping her; he helps her help herself. She is the one that must make a genuine request of the Weight Crab, to truly want to confront her own trauma.

She addresses Oshino more formally, more hesitantly than she does Araragi. I think she’s scared, a little bit. Scared that Oshino won’t want to help her. Scared that he will want to, and end up being another scammer.

But it’s interesting that she treats Araragi that casually in the first place, isn’t it? He’s someone who caught her without a second thought, someone who keeps running after her despite all her snipping. Someone that’s quick enough to respond to her biting humour, but not quite quick enough at picking up all the things she’s hiding beneath its surface.

She needed someone like Araragi to get her there in the first place. Oshino, for all his knowledge, wouldn’t have cared enough.

That’s part of why I find it such a moving line when she tells him that she can do it herself. Talking to Oshino, she means, but the same tone is also there when she begs Oshino to let her try and talk to the Weight Crab again. Despite everything, she really did want to hold onto those emotions, and was brave enough to try and reclaim them on her own.

At the end of this story, Araragi realises that Senjougahara might actually be a tsundere. What this means in practice is that despite how bluntly she is capable of delivering a vicious joke, she is equally capable of bluntly delivering a heartfelt thanks, shifting from irony to sincerity in an instant in a way that catches Araragi off-guard.

She’s more vulnerable than she first appears, but she’s also brave enough to confront that part of herself. Nothing will change, Oshino says, pointing out that her relationship with her mother will still be poor, her family will not come back together.

But it’s not as if everything will stay the same, either, she responds. In overcoming the crab, she also formed a new relationship with Araragi. The world keeps turning.

I am reminded of the imagery from her opening, staplers drawing lines across a grey cityscape. Slowly, surely, one step at a time, they create their own paths.

I don’t have an epilogue or a punchline (this time round, at least), but I’ll give a quick explanation of my plans here. Basically, I’m going to be reading the light novel version of each Monogatari arc followed immediately by the anime adaptation, and then writing up an essay on my thoughts for each one. This is sort of like what I’ve already done with Fate/Stay Night (and I’ll try to keep moving those posts over here while I’m doing this) so I’m sure this is going to end up increasing in scope and effort the longer I carry on.

Anyway, next time I’ll be writing about- well, I guess you already know, huh. That’s gonna take some getting used to.

#monogatari #senjougahara hitagi #koyomi araragi #monogatariposting

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xplrvibes · 1 year ago

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So, I don't know if any of you heard, but Sam and Colby put out a video the other day that they have been hyping up for weeks as being one that will "change the world."

And I have thoughts about that.

Now, I want to preface this with two things:

Opinions are not law. My opinion is not going to now become the de facto/definitive version of events for all of time. I'm just one dope on the internet, out of gazillions. Keep that in mind, please.

Sam and Colby are NOT on tumblr, so they will not see my opinion. Even if they were, however, they did ask for any and all opinions, theories, and possible ways to debunk what happened, so nothing I say in this is shitting in the face of their entire lives and careers.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is this- I am not trying to tear them down, shit all over them, ruin their lives, or whatever. I am one person, with one opinion- and spoiler alert: my opinion is favorable. I really did thoroughly enjoy this episode. I am very happy for them and how everything turned out. I rated it an 8/10. That's really high praise, coming from me.

My opinion just isn't exactly what 99% of the shall we call them "dedicated" fanbase is saying right now.

And that is OKAY.

Now, with all my disclaimers and legal notices out of the way, the rest of this op-ed will be behind a cut for safe keeping:

Before I get into the meat of this whole video, I want to spend some time talking about the stuff that nobody is talking about: the first 20 minutes.

First of all, can I tell you that I have never been so happy and relieved in my life that these two spent the first day there alone? I'm going to be very honest with you- one of my biggest issues with this series heading into it, was that they brought on all these people that I do not care about (no offense to the people in question) to take part in this whole thing, and I just. don't. care. anymore.

I hate these collabs. I hate them all. Even if the person winds up being nice, like Niki- I'm fucking sick of it. So so so sick of it. I don't know these people, I don't have any loyalty to them, I think 99% of them do not take this seriously and act like fools and have childish potty humor and it's been getting me to the point where I have barely made it through some of their most recent videos.

So, seeing it be only Sam and Colby...ah, what a sigh of relief.

Seeing them together without all the yelling streamers (read my opening statements if this offends) just reminds me of how great they are together when it's just the two of them with no outside influence. They really sell themselves short- they are, and can very much continue to be, the star attraction. They would do well to remember that.

Anyway, early on in this video, something kind of interesting happens that is, as per their normal MO when this happens, never really brought up again (at least in this episode)- they go upstairs and Colby very casually announces that this one particular room makes him physically ill every time he enters it.

Now, anyone who's been on my blog long enough knows that one of my biggest pet peeves about snc is that they never let Colby and his literal gut instinct cook long enough. The man has, at the very bare minimum, a great instinct for sussing out the energy and vibe of a room but they never let him fucking sit there and do it. It drives me absolutely freaking nuts.

So, this is something that I'm highlighting because I hope they get more into it in a future episode...but the thing about Colby is, as soon as all the others show up, he'll just sit in the back and let the others pretend they're psychics the whole time and never mention this again...so I do not have high hopes.

Now, they come downstairs and Colby starts declaring the dining room as a safe area for him, only to turn around and be faced with his mortal nemesis...a cheap reproduction of Robert the Doll. This brings me to my next sub-topic:

Enough with the Fucking Doll.

No seriously. Stop. Stop with the cancer conspiracy, stop apologizing to the damn doll in the youtube comments- do you really think a 150 year old doll is signing onto youtube every morning to read 10k "I'm sorry for looking at you without your permission" comments? Who has time for that? Not even an immortal doll with cancer giving powers has time for that.

They sell this thing on their website. I watched Ozzy Osbourne blow the replica up with fireworks one time. Look how he turned out (ok, maybe bad example, I don't know).

Anyway...omg, the comments. The comments are so tiring and old. Stop please.

The other thing that happened early on that I want to touch on briefly is the echoing of Colby's voice. I'll get into this a little more later, cause it's one of the things that caused me to be very wary of events that happened later, but...while weird that it only echoed on Colby, I do think there's a few different avenues of logical explanation for that, so I'm not going to chalk it up to the paranormal. It could've been an audio malfunction from Colby leaning in and yelling so loudly, or it could've been...well, I'll explain what else it could've been when I get to the rest of this trip. Stay tuned.

A couple of funny/random things from the first 20 minutes that I want to highlight:

Sam just really really really needs Colby to share a bed with him, ok.

Colby- the man who was chugging Diet Pepsi (not even real Pepsi, wtf) on a 9am livestream after only getting home and eating SUBWAY at 3am the night before: "Imagine if all we drank was Pepsi lolz"

Colby manipulating Sam into staying in the basement by pointing out that Sam has to one-up Colby...that's masterclass. That's psychology 101. That just proves that Colby is the baby brother (or girlfriend, as Kris had indicated in her podcast) in this partnership. Sam's staying in that basement lol.

Apparently, The Boys are the ones who put the money down Raggedy Andy's shirt.

Colby's proud smile after explaining how the Perrin girl "flew through the air like a frisbee"...

This whole thing with the challenges- I will reserve judgement until I see how it plays out, but I don't think it's strictly necessary.

Alright, that's enough of that. Let's get into the elephant in the room for this episode: what the fuck is this alphabet game, and is it real?

Now, before I get into the method being used, I need to set the tone here by explaining the vibe I got from the new owner of the house, as well as Satori and Cody.

This is important, because I think it shaded my opinion on this whole thing way more than I would've liked it to, but that's the problem with vibes sometimes...they just take over.

I have never seen or heard of the new owner before in my life. I know who Cody is a little bit, because the Conjuring House has a TIKTOK ACCOUNT NOW (because why wouldn't it) and I know Satori is Jason Hawes' daughter, but that's about it. So, I did not go into this with any real preconceived notions.

But, within 10 seconds of meeting the new owner, I didn't vibe with her at all.

The vibe I got was somebody that is really pushing to turn this house into a money pit tourist attraction. I mean, they have a tiktok account now. They have a campground. It's an air bnb. And she just had that "hey, I need to make my money back on this investment somehow" vibe to her. I have a feeling that, as time goes on with this house, the truth behind some of the legends such as Bathsheeba will start to disappear so that the owner of the house can push the agenda that the movie had started pushing.

Witch babies and demonic possessions sell much better than "hey the town unfairly villainized this woman cause they didn't understand her, and the Warrens were crooks who preyed on a terrified family," after all.

So, I'm already going into this with a healthy distrust of the establishment, ok? And then Satori and Cody take hands and start...running through the alphabet?

And to be honest, my initial reaction was "now what the fuck."

I mean, I have a million questions. How the hell did they even discover this in the first place? And what ghost has time to sit there and play along with this? Like, from the ghost perspective, if the guy down the street has a much easier method for communication than making my ghost ass stand around and play morse code foot stomping games, I'm keeping it moving lol.

But yea, I was immediately skeptical. This is just so easy to fake. And there is, by the way, precedent for faking this kind of stuff. Lots of precedent. And actually, there was a precedent for this very method being debunked back in the 1800's. There was a group of sisters known as the Fox Sisters who populated a very similiar method back in the 1800s. They were eventually exposed as frauds when they admitted that they snapped their joints to replicate the tapping sounds.

Now, again- I was already skeptical of the owner of the house. I had started to become skeptical of Satori and Cody when Colby went to them to ask about the echo of his voice and they gave the most guilty sounding "no" ever on record when he asked if they had any audio recording in the house (because my bet on that is that they were watching him and Sam on cctv and didn't realize the sound would also pipe through, hence the echo that stopped a second later).

So, I'm already skeptical, and then they start employing this method that was debunked back in 1850 and you can imagine where my skepticism went from there.

Now, I want everyone to understand this- I do not believe Sam and Colby were faking any of this. Sam's reaction to hearing his grandma's name is a very genuine response to having someone tell you that they are communicating with a loved one that you thought you would never speak to on this earth again. I've been there, I know what that feeling is. You cannot replicate it.

And they were doing their level best to try and debunk the footsteps and knocking noises being heard throughout this entire thing, and I applaud them for being open and upfront about that to everyone in the room.

I also want to state, for the record, that I do believe in spiritualism in some form, and in the paranormal in some form. I am not a skeptic.

I do, however, know there are a lot of people out there who will use people's emotions against them and fake things like this for attention, clout, money, etc. It happens. So, skepticism in this situation is not unfounded.

Also, something else I'd like to point out- all of the information provided about the people they contacted is readily available and easy to find online. Sam has spoken about his grandmother several times over the years and her nickname, Libby, was in her obituary, which is accessible online. Sam's siblings' names are public knowledge. I, as a somewhat casual fan, have actually known about and have even seen a picture of Frank Brock before this episode aired.

This stuff is out there. It's searchable. It's not hard to find. Even Zach Bell, their producer- give me 10 minutes and I'm sure I could find some information on him, public figure or not. I would never do that, cause I'm not a creep- but someone could.

So...all of that is what is running through my head while this is going on. While I found it interesting, and truly do hope that nobody would be cruel enough to use someone like a beloved grandparent against someone in that manner, it does have to be said that there are just so, so many easy avenues for faking this. I was interested, intrigued, but not 100% on board with it being real.

For Sam's sake, and for Colby's parents' sakes, I hope all of this is true and not some kind of scam to schill tickets to go stay at the Conjuring House. And that's where I'm going to leave that.

Now, a few other things I found either interesting or funny that I would like to point out about Sam and Colby's paranormal ancestry.com journey here, before we move on:

Colby did not know Frank Brock, but then a minute later was like, "Oh yea, I did ancestry.com and I know Frank Brock!" Is he ok? Should we send him to get his cognitive memory ability tested?

Colby's whole entire family coming through and asking him to pass messages along to everyone else...kind of sweet, kind of sad. I wonder who in his lineage is watching out for him, and not Lesa and Layne and Bob and whoever else.

But hey, happy for him that he now has something to bring up at the family Christmas party lol.

Ok, so if anyone is still here reading this- cause damn is this thing long- I just want to really quickly wrap this up by touching on their later attempts to debunk this whole thing. Again, I applaud them for trying, and that really did go a long way to help a lot of people, and make them look more credible in everyone's eyes. I give them all the kudos in the world for that.

I don't love that they outed that random private citizen teacher lady's private info all over the internet, but guess what? When I google her, the first thing that comes up is an article talking about her death in connection to the Conjuring House so...take that how you will.

Anyway, I truly, truly hope, for their sake and their families, that this is real and not a scam being conducted by the people running that house. I will be brokenhearted for them if it is.

Now, my final thoughts on the matter: do I think this was a fantastic video? Yes, actually, I was quite pleasantly surprised. I was getting to the point of not wanting to watch it because of all the over-hyping they were doing, but I'm glad I did watch this, because it was really well put together, very interesting and intriguing, and definitely makes a mark.

Do I think it was life changing? No. To them, it was, but this method has been around in some way, shape or form for a long time, Satori and Cody have apparently done it on Ghost Hunters before, and talking to psychics to communicate with the other side has been a well documented phenomenon since dinosaurs roamed the earth.

Nonetheless, it was a fantastic start, and I do hope this momentum keeps up when the screaming streamers come to town.

#sam and colby #colby brock #sam golbach #snc video review #xplr #disclaimer: opinions are not law they are opinions

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nakanotamu · 8 months ago

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Alright so I finished watching a Stardom show and I had a lot of thoughts about it and stuff I wanted to say and normally I would dump this all in my discord server but rn I'd feel weird about spamming this in there bc of brain reasons so tumblr gets it instead. So here are my probably needlessly long thoughts about Stardom's 2023.09.09 5 Star GP show from Korakuen Hall:

Alright so just right off the bat I'll say that this show was pretty packed (~1300 people) and the crowd was very hot and that... did nothing for me. Moments that make me feel very alienated from what is apparently the average wrestling fan, let me tell you. People make such a big deal out of loud active crowds and idk I mostly just found this one annoying. There's something about them being so audibly almost exclusively men that is really not fun. Rossy spent 10 years being so bad at appealing to women that I think it's fair to say it just wasn't a concern of his at any point, and Harada was absolutely gunning for a product in that same vein and it SUCKS. Oh my god it sucks. idk why it bothered me so much on this show, it's not like it's anything new, but it was really getting to me. I'm looking forward to getting to the show from, I think late November, when Kid specifically commented on how many women were there and seeing if it feels any different. Shout out to the one very loud woman who was a huge Komomo stan though, mood.

This show was originally billed as the Generational Struggle Part 3, the culmination of the Generational Struggle stuff from earlier in the Summer, a storyline that nobody ever understood and none of the wrestlers had any interest in, ultimately just completely dropped by the time this show actually happened, really emblematic of Harada's era of booking. I think this show stands out in a similar way, a peak of popularity and hype during a period where the quality was already starting to steeply decline, but before people had really noticed in numbers and before things had really cratered, with the wrestlers still mostly able to cover up the increasingly obvious holes. As such I think it's worth talking about as a shining example of this incredibly weird and bad period for Stardom.

Lady C & Hina vs Miyu Amasaki & Hanako - I like the sort of QQ vs QQ feeling to this match, but iirc it was one of those matches that were frequent at the time that had to be changed at the last minute bc someone was hurt or sick. So idk it was a fine opener though, no strong feelings but like it's the first match it's fine.

Mariah May & Waka Tsukiyama vs Mei Seira & Megan Bayne - Okay I hate to say it but Megan is kind of growing on me. I still think the way they brought her in was all wrong, and trying to push her for singles matches again later was still a mistake, but I do think she found a pretty entertaining niche in these less important tag matches. A lot of it is everyone else figuring out how to play off of her, and I don't really think it's a *good* thing when one wrestler warps an entire match around her every single time like she does, but in a match that's not all that important so there's less to detract from, yeah it's actually pretty fun. I just like seeing Mei Seira get thrown you know? Or when Mariah tries to knock her off the apron and she just doesn't move. It's annoying as hell when it gets her title shots, but in contexts like this, it's a pretty good bit.

Natsupoi & Yuna Mizumori vs Syuri & Saki Kashima - I'll talk more about it later but this whole undercard felt really disposable to me, which is always disappointing, especially given how much character Stardom packed into even their smaller matches before this period. Yunamon was in the middle of her joining CA story (still, somehow) and Poi and Syuri are always entertaining together, and they still are here with some fun spots and stuff, but I just didn't care. Like I said though, broader issues going on during this period so we do know why it was like that and I'll get to it later.

Mayu Iwatani, Koguma, & Momo Kohgo vs Natsuko Tora, Fukigen Death, & Rina - Again, perfectly servicable undercard match that doesn't really have anything fun or interesting going on under the hood, but we know why now so I'm not trying to like, criticize, just saying yeah wow it was bad huh. This was Komomo's second last match before she got injured iirc which is incredibly depressing, I don't think she even tagged in once during this match so she was probably already hurt and I hate it.

Mirai vs Saori Anou - God, okay, this match was kind of the one that made me think about typing up my thoughts about this show. I did not like this match anywhere near as much as I expected to. It just was not clicking for me, like, at all. This felt like a very clear "first time singles match", especially between two wrestlers who I guess don't really know each other outside of wrestling and haven't trained together or anything. There's a reason first time singles matches are rarely actually all that good and I really felt that awkwardness and lack of chemistry here. Mirai and Anou are both good so it was like, fine, but I was really taken out of it and unimpressed after I had assumed this would be really good. I do like Anou winning the white belt, and I do think Mirai's run needed to end bc it was not... working, but man I would not have devoted like Mirai's entire Fall to this feud after watching this match. Shining example of why you should put wrestlers together with people they want to work with and not just whichever names you think sound good against each other.

Hazuki vs Starlight Kid - This match on the other hand totally lived up to expectations. Hazuki and Kid obviously know each other super well and are both freaks, it was great. Brawling through the crowd always gives me kind of, idk, a sort of secondhand embarassment feeling? It just feels wrong my brain doesn't like it but I still appreciated what they were doing with it, with Kid angry and desperate and trying to prove herself more intense and bad than Hazuki. Hazuki always looks amazing getting tortured in submissions, and Kid's whole gameplan being trying to build to the Black Tiger Leg Killer makes sense. I couldn't actually remember who won this so I was even biting on the near falls at the end and liked Hazuki's quick, desperate win. They're both so great and I liked this a lot.

Tam Nakano vs Suzu Suzuki - This was like, the exact opposite of Mirai vs Anou to me. It still had a little bit of that first singles match awkwardness I think, but the amount you would expect given that's what it was, and they both brought enough to compensate for that. Tam really does have the same chemistry with "mini Giulia" as she does with the big sis herself and this match was really great for it. Again exactly opposite to Anou vs Mirai, this match totally would have left me excited for a title match program between these two - which ofc unfortunately never actually happened. I think the booking was incredibly stupid though, because of course it was, but why give Suzu the win over the champ to build to her winning the tournament and... earning a title match she already earned with this match? I guess there is the possibility that as people seem to believe Utami was meant to win and Suzu was an audible when Utami got hurt, which would make some sense booking wise. I still think Utami winning would have been extremely nonsensical from a story standpoint, but all the rest of Harada's booking was disjointed and very obviously ignored story too, so it would be consistent in that way at least. But anyway, I really enjoyed this match.

Giulia vs Maika - Wow, man, I liked this match so so much more than I was expecting to. Idk why it quite feels like this because I haven't skipped any of these shows, but if 2023 was the Maika starmaking year, this was the match where her popularity really felt like it exploded basically overnight. Like she was already liked, but this match out of nowhere was where it was suddenly like, oh my god Maika is SUPER popular, god damn. I think all of Giulia's singles matches have some holes, like, I wouldn't exactly say she is "good" at "selling" even at the best of times, but Maika is really good at compensating for her weaknesses, and most importantly the match really really excels at her strengths, namely intensity and homoeroticism. Given the things I've heard or seen I think this might be the last Giulia singles match I really enjoy, uh, either in her time in Stardom or possibly ever, but still if it does turn out that way for me, what a note to go out on. Really really fantastic, I thought this match was great, even if the story stuff and the booking around it was extremely inconsistent and stop and go with a whole Giulia vs Maika storyline they teased repeatedly and clearly wanted to do and never actually got to. At least they got to do this one.

Which I guess brings me to how weird this period of Stardom was. There have definitely been times I've wondered myself why I'm so dedicated to not skipping anything even when I don't exactly think it's fantastic, but I don't know, I still want to see what it was like, you know? I want to see what the wrestlers cared about even when there was no guarantee at all the booker would pay attention to any of it. There are definitely still good moments, even if there are a lot of bad and a lot of it is disjointed and weird around it. I just want to see it for myself.

I did improv in high school, and I remember after regionals one year we tried to do our regular weekly practice the next week, and it was terrible. Everyone was just creatively tapped and needed to recharge too badly, but we didn't realize that at first, and there was just this feeling of like, "we're doing the same things we always do, why isn't this working?" A lot of stuff from this period gives me the impression that that's how the wrestlers were feeling during this time.

The next show, on September 10th, was Dream Tag Fes, which seems to me to sort of be when this era of Stardom jumped the shark. (And I say that as someone who used to be way too much of a nerd about sitcoms and is extremely specific about what that term means.) The one last truly top to bottom great show for this era of Stardom, amidst some decline already starting to show, before the management issues and terrible schedule would become too much to ignore and they wouldn't be able to reach those heights again. I mean I think they're already on their way back up, I'm glad Harada has already been fired and Rossy being gone too is a bonus, but for this period at least. I might skip some stuff in the future, I know at least the Money Ball Scramble that was a mess where they didn't even run by the wrestlers what was in the boxes for sure, but I don't know, I still worry about missing out on the good stuff too, you know? That's my problem with wrestling, I'm so quick to tell others there's no actual obligation to watch everything, and yet I feel it myself. But even if it was another one that was all over the place, I'm still glad I watched this show.

#kind of been missing talking about wrestling and blogging so ig this is a little bit to scratch that itch

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androphagy · 14 days ago

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to begin: this is about the transgender demographic and anyone who believes they fall under that umbrella as a whole. no one is exempt from being transmisogynistic (or misogynistic in general) on basis of sex or gender. presentation absolutely contributes to level of bigotry experienced, especially in relation to transphobia; if you're a no-op no/pre-HRT transmasculine person, you are not going to see the same level -- if at all -- of transphobia the average trans woman (and someone who is medically transitioning, depending on the situation) does. that is another post entirely, but know that this is about trans people tearing other trans people down in an almost crabs-in-a-bucket mentality.

that being said: if your only critiques of other trans people are you're a credulous weapon for engaging with [gender demographic i resent] and on basis of sex you're ontologically incapable of being anything other than [variety of bigotry based on oppositional dynamics] and you should be mistrusted as such in every situation then mix it up with epithets such as "itfab" and, i quote, "i do not care about the poor little girls who didn't come out of T looking like an anime twink, at all, nobody should" -- you're not ready for any form of discussion beyond high school cafeteria gossip. and even then, that might be pushing it.

there are ways to discuss and condemn bigotry (of all kinds) within a certain demographic without smearing and insulting them under the idea of "they've had it too good for too long, they deserve it" and all but saying "transphobia is praxis if its the ones that see less overt effects of oppression." anger and frustration is natural -- and personally, important! -- but disguising vitriolic misogynistic rhetoric as a real and "valid" breakdown on the pervasive societal role of transmisogyny is not going to make anything better, aside from maybe a few minute's relief by offloading well-deserved but misdirected rage.

(again) personally, i don't believe that there's any true unity to be had in the hyperindividualistic-but-homogenized social media age. addressing any group within what could be loosely defined as "queer" or "TQ+" comes with having to make so many caveats, people telling you what you missed or wrongfully included, and is tied up in so much interpersonal conflict that gets mistaken for genuine commentary on the current existence and history of gender identity that it feels entirely pointless to make any posts attempting to speak in good faith to begin with, especially due to the (again) hyperindividualism and extremely selfish worldviews held by people who don't have to be or aren't ever verbally challenged outside of the internet aside from, as i said, interpersonal conflict. the lack of real life experience also influences these issues.

can said conflict be indicative of a larger issue? of course. you see it in the use of callout posts/blogs/docs and how they aide in transmisogyny as a tool for unpersoning and ostracizing trans women and those on the transfeminine axis; callouts would be on the board of things utilized by people AFAB/CAFAB (because in the interest of honesty, when "TME" is used in reference to online queer discourse, it's talking about trans men, nonbinary people CAFAB/AFAB, and cis women. i think we can agree that by-and-large cis men are not indulging in discussions of gender politics, especially through the lens of fandom and social media) to silence and chase away trans women and transfems from online and real-life spaces.

that, however, doesn't mean breaking up into insular cliques that use harmful rhetoric as basis for coloring worldviews with the beliefs that other trans people as a whole are the enemy somehow fixes this, especially when said cliques are doing nothing aside from being as mean as possible and centering a "target" of which is acceptable in said clique to punch down on. they aren't writing theory, bringing any new discussion to the table, or working towards a healthier and more understanding future for all involved; they are all interested fostering cruelty for the sake of being cruel.

i truly do understand the anger. i don't talk about my personal experiences here because i also understand that they're not the norm for someone of my typical demographic, and i've never been in any community for LGBT+ people beyond a short stint in a high school GSA which was overrun by cishet "allies" who decided to kick the few actual LGBT people out in favor of appealing to fans of rupaul's drag race (which is a long and extremely frustrating story.) i've given no reason to believe me, but i'm coming at this from years of observing many different groups from all over the "LGBT umbrella", along with research and readings in addition to my personal experiences.

in short: you're telling me that this group of transgender people are ontologically worse/"bad"/more dangerous than the others and should not be trusted until they prove that they're one of the good ones? isn't that exactly what we should be going against instead of encouraging?

#long post #long tags #if it were just the one person on here behaving this way i wouldn't have bothered making a post #but she's far from the only one and there's a group of others who participate and further these ideas #it was all just so extremely transphobic and the posts just. kept going. from more and more of these blogs #trans people of all identities for the record! let me make that abundantly clear!#who are participating in this behavior #i think any hope of unity is loooong gone especially since most of my experience has been IRL and observing online groups #but this is like. something i've been watching become more and more mainstream #lgbtqia #queer #trans #transphobia #transmisogyny

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geminixevans-stan · 2 years ago

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The Four Mischiefs

Pairing: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes x PR!Female Reader

Words: 2.1k+

Summary: Reader has to deal with four delinquents after their trip turned into a social media frenzy

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, mentions of violence, Bucky being a little shit, explicit language

A/N: I missed this little series so much! I wrote this while on the devil’s lettuce so I hope you all enjoy! Like, comment, & reblog! ♥

I do not consent to my work being copied, plagiarized, or translated in any way >:P

PR Chronicles Masterlist

Mondays were usually the normal recharge day after a weekend away from responsibilities. You were always a Monday person, ready to restart the work week and see what else you could accomplish. This Monday… you hated. While not many things could ruin your mood on a Monday, a group of mischiefs had a nice weekend.

And by nice you mean an utter disaster…

The large conference room usually was used for daily debriefings for the Avengers. But, because a certain video of Earth’s mightiest defenders stayed on the internet for three days until you finally got wind of it and scrubbed the web so clean that everyone on social media thought they were in a simulation, you had to do deep damage control.

Instead of having a meeting about how to save the Earth, you were sat in front of the conference table as Tony, Sam, Bucky, and Steve sat in the seats around the dark table as the video of their trip played out in front of them.

Sam and Bucky had the look of accomplishment on their faces as they tagged team a group of normal human men in a neighborhood looking to match the housing of the New Orleans communities. Steve sat with his hands clasped in his lap, shame on his face as he cringe at the amount of force he used on his attacking party.

And then came Tony… In all your time in knowing him, he never had the look of fear or shame etched on his features. Yet as you stare down at every single hero in your sight, Tony Stark looks… embarrassed.

Even with their looks, you can still get to the bottom of why they were where they were and why they decided to fight an entire neighborhood (they won, of course).

The video began to end and with each passing second you became more and more irritated with all of them. No doubt Sam and Bucky were not sorry for what they did but you were going to make them issue a fake apology by any means necessary.

You step close to the table, resting your hands on the surface as you take a seat at the head of it. All eyes were on you and every single one of them got their own glance before you decide to start grilling.

“Anyone wants to start with what we’ve just seen gentlemen? Give me precise answers and it may or no may not help the consequences you’re all gonna get,” the coolness on your tongue was enough to send a shiver through them all. It was evident that they all messed up, royally. But nobody wanted to speak up.

With a sly smirk on his face, Bucky raised his hand, waiting to be called on. The quirk in your eyebrow was all the interest you were going to give him as you called on him, “Sergeant Barnes, the repeat offender. What happened here?”

The clear of Bucky’s throat could be heard when he stood up, his metal hand pressed to the table as he began to speak, “Well, Sam decided to invite us all for a Boy’s trip to his hometown at the last minute and as you see in the video, there were some targets that needed some attention.”

“Targets? So was this a mission or a trip of leisure Sergeant Barnes?”

“A trip…”

“So you were fighting for fun am I correct?”

“Seemed fun to me,” Bucky shrugged, taking another look at the screen as the video began to play again, making Bucky smile as he saw the combos he laid to his enemies, “With all due respect, they started it and we finished it.”

A scoff left your throat as Bucky took his seat, looking more accomplished than he did earlier.

“So, we have two super soldiers and two men that use technology for their powers, fighting regular human beings for fun? Please, help me understand why four men with advantages decided to go fight for sport. ”

“That’s…. Not what happened,” Steve’s low, deep voice filled the room. Your head turned to him, shifting in his seat as his eyes finally met yours, “The trip part was true but I wouldn’t say the fight was for fun”

“Here comes the Golden boy,” Bucky quipped, chuckling afterwards.

“Enough Sergeant Barnes. You’ll just make your punishment worse than what it is. I’ll turn you into a more Golden Boy than Steve,” you spat, not even giving Bucky a second look as you keep your eyes on Steve.

The room fell silent as Bucky slid a little in his seat, the brooding demeanor back as you continued your interrogating. “So what happened Captain Rogers? You don’t look so good in there either.”

“They really did start it ma’am. Sam wanted to show us his childhood home and we took the walk there just to take in the scenery. As we walked up the street, there were a large group of residents outside and they knew who we were.”

Your eyes, stay stuck on Steve, listening to him go into detail about what transpired that night. Each detail could be seen on the camera as clear as day. You just needed the verbal recollection of events.

“And then what Captain Rogers?”

“Tony made one of the guys mad because he wouldn’t give up his suit and… well I don’t want to say what the man said to Tony. It was bad”

For the first time throughout the meeting, Sam perked and said, “He called Tony a bitch ass daddy’s boy and then Tony swung.”

“SAM!!!” they all yelled as Sam slid down with the most widest grin on his face.

“Snitch’n Sam at it again,” chuckled Bucky as he shook his head.

“Jesus Sam,” groaned Steve.

“I should have blew your legs off,” quipped Tony.

You leaned back, rolling your eyes at each of them. But still, their stories matched with the video that you went over ten times before 9 AM today. They fucked up, Tony more than the others. You knew exactly how to deal with him and he wasn’t going to to like it one bit.

He was the only one who didn’t have anything to say and he wasn’t going to be let off that easily. With the fold of your arms over your chest, you glared him down until his eyes met yours, “For a person who doesn’t know how to stop talking, Mr. Stark, you sure are quiet. What’s up?”

Tony rolled his eyes, breathing in before letting out a large sigh, “If I may defend myself here. It did escalate more than I wanted it to go. I mean can ya blame me? He was trying to take my suit!”

“I can see just fine Tony and he didn’t go near your suit or attempt to take it. Now what he said to you may not be right but… you have suit of armor! That you put on to fight. What would have happened if you really hurt someone. That then goes beyond my expertise.”

“Sorry mother…” Tony murmured under his breath. Not low enough because everyone heard it.

It wasn’t the first or the last time that Tony called you that for chewing him out, but it was the tone he used that made a smile spread across your face, “Very cute. At least I wasn’t the one who fought and still got their suit taken. I wonder how they were able to do that?”

Stifled laughs could be heard from Sam and Bucky’s side, each holding in their laughter as the footage of different residents, taking pieces of Tony’s suit and running away played vividly.

Bucky was the first to double over in laughter as Tony’s screams could be heard while the other three finished off their fighting. Steve gave you an apologetic look the more chaos ensued in the meeting.

Your head was beginning to hurt and if you didn’t get out of these heels, someone was going to feel your wrath.

“I’m glad that for some of you, this is amusing. Because It’s time to have my fun and hope you will laugh with me while I give your assignments on how to make it up to the public for your indiscretions.”

Silence fell over the room again as you slid all 4 of them their own Manila folder with separate tasks to win the public’s heart back. Sam was the first one to speak.

“There is no way I’m doing this! Why do I have to do the clean up?! Tony was the one causing havoc!”

“Hey genius, we’re both doing the clean up so shut up”

“You shut up!”

“No, You shut up”

“Both of you shut up!” you snapped, rubbing your temples slowly as they all read their briefing.

The furrow on Steve’s eyebrows was evident as he read his tasks over and over, looking up at you over his folder, “Please don’t make me do this. I thought I was done with the infomercials,” he groaned, giving you his best puppy dog look. If it was just you and him, maybe you would have given in. But you couldn’t be moved.

“And you can do just a few more. Next time don’t follow through with their shenanigans Captain Rogers,” amusement on your tongue as burst his bubble, chuckling when you heard Bucky’s sound of disgust.

“Tell me why I have to fix some old stinky dusty boat?” he asked, leaning back as she threw his folder on the desk.

You hummed happily, sitting up in your chair as you stared him down, “Because Sam’s sister asked for you since she said that Sam can’t fix crap”

“Hey!”

You threw your hands up in fake surrender, “Her words, not mine Mr. Wilson.”

Bucky smirked, sitting back up in his seat as she clapped Sam on the shoulder, “Don’t worry Sam, I’ll take good care of your sister,” a smile spreading across his face as he sat back, swerving his chair to the left the moment he saw Sam reach back.

With everyone knowing their punishments, you were entirely ready for this meeting to be over, “Is everyone fine with what they need to do but their assigned deadlines?” the room was filled with different version of yes and that was good enough for you.

You ended the meeting, wanting nothing to do with any of them as you worked on keeping the said video off the internet and issuing apologies on each one of their social media sites.

In true Bucky fashion, he sent you a quick test, stating that he wasn’t actually sorry. Which you replied with and eye roll emoji before packing up your things to go home with.

A knock got your attention as you saw Steve in his civilian clothes, holding a beautiful arrangement of roses in your favorite color. Information that Steve didn’t or shouldn’t know about.

“Trying to butter me up Captain Rogers?” you ask, standing by your desk as you stared at him from the threshold of the door. He cleared his throat, softly clutching the bouquet in his hand, “N-no ma’am. I’m a man of my word and I’ll make things right. These are for you. For causing you stress on your favorite day. May I?”

Your eyes widen slightly as your mouth opened up and closed again, ushering him in, “How did you… Know that?” amazement on your tongue as she placed the vase on your desk.

Steve placed his hands in pocket of his jeans, his height well over half of yours as she stared down at you and shrugged, “You always wear pink on Monday’s and your favorite coffee mug is pink. Just something I paid attention to…”

A smile played at your lips as you stared at the almost timid man before you. He was nervous and it was all because of you? Couldn’t be.

You place the handle of your purse over your shoulder, picking up the vase in your other arm and walk towards him, still having a good space between you two, “I like your attention to detail Captain Rogers…”

“Steve… you can call me Steve.”

His permission to call you his personal name made you smile, causing you to stand in silence before speaking, letting his name play on your tongue, “Steve… nice eye” your voice low was you brush past him, and out the door, leaving him to have the start of reddening cheeks.

Steve stood there for a moment, watching you walk away as she made sure you were gone before leaving. He closes your door, only to be startled by Sam and Bucky waiting outside.

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head as she looked at Steve, “You didn’t ask her yet did you?”

“Come on man, you know he didn’t,” snickered Sam.

They both laughed with each other as Steve rolled his eyes, looking back before a smile played at his lips, “No. But, she did call me Steve…”

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